Love. Crash. Rebuild.

Relationships

When Being the Flexible One Starts to Hurt

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on February 4, 2026

Many couples believe they are collaborating when they are actually accommodating. True collaboration begins when partners slow down and get honest with each other.

Many couples believe they are collaborating when they are actually accommodating. True collaboration begins when partners slow down and get honest with each other.

Relationships

Why Your Fight Isn’t About What You Think It’s About

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on January 28, 2026

Small disagreements can escalate quickly when partners feel judged. Slowing the moment can help couples reconnect before conflict takes over.

Small disagreements can escalate quickly when partners feel judged. Slowing the moment can help couples reconnect before conflict takes over.

Relationships

Why Repair Attempts Fail (Even When You Mean Them)

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on January 23, 2026

Couples often believe that repair fails because they say the wrong thing. More often, it fails because it comes before emotional recognition.

Couples often believe that repair fails because they say the wrong thing. More often, it fails because it comes before emotional recognition.

Relationships

Misattunement: You’re Both Trying—Yet Still Miss Each Other

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on January 14, 2026

Misattunement happens when partners reach for each other from different emotional places. Recognizing the miss—rather than correcting it—is often the beginning of repair.

Misattunement happens when partners reach for each other from different emotional places. Recognizing the miss—rather than correcting it—is often the beginning of repair.

Relationships

Why Your Partner’s Reaction Knocks You Out, and Vice-Versa

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on January 7, 2026

Sometimes what hurts most in conflict isn’t what your partner does—it’s what their reaction comes to mean. Understanding this can change the way couples fight and repair.

Sometimes what hurts most in conflict isn’t what your partner does—it’s what their reaction comes to mean. Understanding this can change the way couples fight and repair.

Relationships

Distance and Destruction: The Forces Driving Conflicts

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on December 18, 2025

Many conflicts stem from two instinctive reactions: distancing and destructiveness. Understanding these patterns is often the first step toward lasting repair.

Many conflicts stem from two instinctive reactions: distancing and destructiveness. Understanding these patterns is often the first step toward lasting repair.

Relationships

The Five-Step Path From Rupture to Repair

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on December 10, 2025

PACER (pause, accountability, collaboration, experiment, reset) is a simple, sequential method couples can use to navigate conflict and find their way back to connection.

PACER (pause, accountability, collaboration, experiment, reset) is a simple, sequential method couples can use to navigate conflict and find their way back to connection.

Relationships

How Couples Begin Again After Repair

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on December 3, 2025

Reset, the final step in our PACER model of relationship repair, helps partners return to each other with a stronger and more grounded sense of “us.”

Reset, the final step in our PACER model of relationship repair, helps partners return to each other with a stronger and more grounded sense of “us.”

Relationships

Experimentation Is Essential in Repairing Relationships

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on November 26, 2025

Experimentation invites couples recovering from rupture to test new behaviors, take emotional risks, and learn from experience—not just intention.

Experimentation invites couples recovering from rupture to test new behaviors, take emotional risks, and learn from experience—not just intention.

Relationships

How to Work With, Not Against, Your Partner

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on November 20, 2025

Collaboration occurs when couples move from blame and self-protection to shared authorship of repair.

Collaboration occurs when couples move from blame and self-protection to shared authorship of repair.

Relationships

Accountability: The Courage to Look in the Mirror

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on November 12, 2025

When couples stop trying to fix each other and start recognizing their own patterns, conflict becomes an opportunity for repair. Accountability turns defensiveness into awareness.

When couples stop trying to fix each other and start recognizing their own patterns, conflict becomes an opportunity for repair. Accountability turns defensiveness into awareness.

Relationships

The Space Between: How to Find Calm in the Midst of Conflict

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on November 6, 2025

Choosing to pause can short-circuit your fight-flight-freeze-fawn reflex and save your connection before it crashes.

Choosing to pause can short-circuit your fight-flight-freeze-fawn reflex and save your connection before it crashes.

Relationships

2 Golden Rules for Every Couple

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on October 28, 2025

Two surprisingly simple rules can turn even your most familiar fights into moments of insight, empathy, and repair.

Two surprisingly simple rules can turn even your most familiar fights into moments of insight, empathy, and repair.

Relationships

Why Conflict Can Be the Healthiest Thing for Your Relationship

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., and Haruna Miyamoto-Borg LCSW on October 21, 2025

Conflict doesn’t mean your relationship is broken—it means it’s alive. Here’s how to transform ruptures into opportunities for empathy, accountability, and renewed connection.

Conflict doesn’t mean your relationship is broken—it means it’s alive. Here’s how to transform ruptures into opportunities for empathy, accountability, and renewed connection.