Synchronicity Can Signal Love Moments or Breakthroughs

Being in sync with the world in which we function today may hint at the subconscious world we are about to meet. But in our overly programmed society, we can easily miss the clues.

Mindfulness, the practice of living in the moment, provides fertile soil for heightened awareness. As such, when we quiet our inner chatter, making meaningful connections might become effortless. With synchronicity, it is as if our inner world and the world around us find ways to communicate through coincidence. Such moments might present us with love and opportunity, and even help us to gauge whether our relationships are falling into a pattern that lacks synchrony.

In The Magic of Synchronicities, Judith Orloff, M.D., says, "Events come together with such exactitude, it feels as if we have been launched onto a pre-ordained course. We can't stop thinking about someone and we run into them on the street; a person we have just met offers us the perfect job; we miss our plane and on the next flight we sit next to someone with whom we fall in love. This is synchronicity, a state of grace." (1)

Carl Gustav Jung defines the relationship between physical and psychological phenomena in his work Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle. In looking at the possibilities for growth by being in sync with our relationships, the research on synchrony from the California Institute of Technology is compelling. Researchers identified unconscious body movement as “an index of implicit interpersonal interaction.” In a relationship, it might be more telling to look for signs of being in sync rather than waiting for the obvious body language that clearly points to trouble. (2)

The word “synchronicity” has been in the news this month—from the Synchronicity Theater openings in Atlanta to filmmaker David Fincher’s new HBO series Video Synchronicity, and a new book by the Synchronicity Foundation. The word itself reminded me of how I came to add a second section to one of my own books, A Serenity Journal. After taking time off from work to focus on the book, I came to experience a startling moment of synchronicity—one that would impact both the new book and a relationship. (3)

A startling experience

One morning at 3 a.m., I suddenly sat up in bed. I had a sense that I had been lied to by someone close to me. But I did not feel like dwelling on it or boiling over in anger. So I turned on the light and reached for the new copy of the Atlantic Monthly; the subscription had been a gift from one of my sons.

I happened upon a story by Francine Prose. It was apparently an excerpt from a section that would be incorporated into her 2013 novel, Bigfoot Dreams. The fanciful image of St. Joseph of Cupertino, an 18th-century priest, within this modern-day story was captivating. Despite my Catholic school upbringing, I had only learned about the levitating mystic just the day before.

The coincidence so startled me that I could not get back to sleep. So I got out of bed and made some tea. Then I decided to try to hook up the green wooden box that held an ancient television that doubled as a coffee table. It worked. But the only station that came in clearly was PBS. It was now 4 a.m. and City Arts was interviewing writers. And at that moment Francine Prose appeared in my living room.

In focusing on this phenomenon, I dismissed the thoughts of betrayal and went peacefully back to sleep for a few more hours. Had this not occurred, I probably would have written an angry letter, sulked, or in some way created a wedge in a relationship that had simply become out of sync through too much work and too much travel in different directions. I made a gratitude list and the decision to add a section to the journal called, “The Other Side of Silence.”

In and out of sync and the gratitude connection

In reading the work of CalTech researchers, despite the specific context of their study, it seemed natural to look into the role of synchrony in interpersonal relationships. Their goal was to "evaluate unconscious body movement synchrony and implicit interpersonal interactions between two participants. We also aimed to assess the underlying neural correlates and functional connectivity within and among the brain regions of two participants."

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As such, they used as examples how two people walking together fall into sync and conducted fingertip movement training. As noted:

“We found that synchrony of both fingertip movement and neural activity between the two participants increased after cooperative interaction. These results suggest that the increase of interpersonal body movement synchrony via interpersonal interaction can be a measurable basis of implicit social interaction. The paradigm provides a tool for identifying the behavioral and the neural correlates of implicit social interaction.” (2)

Although focused on aspects of social interaction, this study reminded me of how easy it is to fall in or out of sync with those in our lives. Whether looking for love or a new opportunity, making time for mindful moments and meditation is a valuable step. Creating the environment to recognize synchronicity and its cousin, serendipity, can enrich one's life.

Copyright 2015 Rita Watson