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Items in the news recently were reminders of the ways in which women are shamed. The voice of Monica Lewinsky in her TED talk, “The price of shame,” was considered long overdue by many. March was a month peppered with news about women and shame. Two items piqued my interest. The obituary of the 92-year-old Dell Williams elucidated how a woman was humiliated when buying a vibrator and rose above it by starting the first women’s sex boutique. Then there was a Catholic Church report by women regarding cosmetic surgery.
As I began looking into the literature, it was in the Athenaeum’s reading room that an article in the UK’s Spectator caught my eye, “The end of childhood - what we lost when we dropped the age of consent.” It depicted the tragedy of “grooming gangs” who were priming young girls for sex and then these same girls would be accused of “making bad choices.” Melanie Philips noted:
In myriad ways, our society tacitly condones and even encourages the sexualisation of underage children, right up to government level.
From slut-shaming to blaming the victim, it seems that we are falling into the scarlet letter world of Hester Prynne. And who can forget that just a few years ago we saw Doonesbury cartoons depict the shaming wand? This tool, used to intimidate women in Texas prior to making the decision to terminate pregnancy, in itself was a shameful political act.
The recent articles were at opposite ends of the spectrum. On the one hand was a report by women critiquing women -- and in some sense, shaming them – and on the other was a woman who refused to allow condescension towards her sexual desire to intimidate her. The church is opposed to surgery when its purpose is to enhance a woman’s looks to give her pleasure. It is also opposed to women deriving pleasure from things that go buzz in the night. Fortunately women have choices.
The church report did point out that some of the blame for cosmetic surgery goes to a beauty-fixated society. Despite the finger pointing, the report did leave room for approval in the case of women who chose cosmetic surgery because of deformities or an extremely poor self-image. This is apparently in line with Jewish and Muslin thinking.
In that one Saturday issue of the New York Times we saw examples of women’s thinking -- from a nit-picking church report to the story of a woman who fought convention to help other women.
It seems that Dell was shamed when she went into a department story looking for a vibrator. That one incident gave her the courage to open a shop that served women’s sexual wishes and needs. The church, of course, labels the use of vibrators as sinful and shameful self-gratification.
However, the real shame here is that society continues to finger point and stigmatize women. As the woman involved in a sexual relationship with a sitting president, Lewinsky became “that woman.” She said in her talk, “In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity.”
Stigmatizing continues and until it ends, let us be grateful to those who expose the accusers. They are the true adocates for women.
Reference links:
- Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame
- Dell Williams, Founder of Sex Boutique, Dies at 92
- Catholics, Plastic Surgery, and 'the Truth of the Feminine Self'
- Melanie Phillips, Bring back the age of consent
- Doonesbury tackles slut and abortion politics
Copyright 2015 Rita Watson / All Rights Reserved
