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When people say to me, “I have so much to tell, but I don’t know where to begin. Just how do you write a memoir?” My answer is simple -- one memory at a time. What is most important is that you just put pen to paper, or create a private document on your computer. Oftentimes, it is helpful to begin by writing happy memories for which one is grateful.
Edward Iannuccelli, MD, has written two books of memoirs, vignettes of “Growing Up Italian.” Ed Writes And I have been writing about my Italian grandparents publishing one newspaper story a month.This is my Italian Christmas memory. Because so many were able to relate to holiday tension as well as happiness, it turned out to be one of the most effective prompts for my class. It was a reminder of holiday stress, patience, and love.
Four memoir writing tips and an Italian Christmas story
Start with a theme. Write a short memory of Chanukah or Christmas. Sit quietly and think about the holidays you shared. What was most memorable? Sometimes you have a holiday memory that makes you smile. Sometimes it is a memory for which you are grateful. Or you may have a sad memory of a person who will always be in your heart.
Use a journal, note book, or computer. People often find it helpful to start writing in longhand before going to the computer. This happens because once you trigger a single memory you will go back several times to add descriptions.
Look at photos. Refresh your thoughts by looking at photos and even glancing through magazines until you say to yourself, “Oh, I remember.”
Just write down thoughts you wish to treasure. Get over feeling that you need to write the whole story at once. If you are writing about a family meal, just write what is important to you. Just write down one moment in time. And it is a beginning.
The Italian Family Christmas Tree Challenge
The upside down wedding cake chandelier adorned the entrance parlor in Gram and Grandpa’s house on the water. Each year on the first week of December, Grandma would send us to the attic to bring down boxes of Christmas ornaments so she could decide how many new snowflakes to crochet for the tree, which was always under the chandelier. Then she would sigh, “Watch how Papa is going to say, “Annunziata, it’s in everyone’s way.”
By the second week of December, Grandma sent Grandpa and his brothers to cut down a tree so it could “settle” into the parlor. One snowy afternoon we waited for the tree to arrive, but Grandpa pulled the car into the side garage. Then we heard him on the stairs stamping snow from his boots. When Gram opened the door, he said, “Nancy, before we bring in the tree, I have something to say. The tree farm would not allow any cutting down of small trees, just one big tree.”
Gram suspiciously went to the windows to catch a glimpse of what Grandpa’s brothers were bringing into the house. “Mamma Mia,” she cried out. “That tree belongs to ‘Jack and Beanstalk.’ How will it fit under the chandelier?”
As his brothers set to work fitting the tree onto the stand, they moved directly to the semi-circle of window seats. Gram cried out, “No, not there.” But Grandpa surprised and stopped her. “Look. I bought you a beautiful white tree with bubbling candle lights to put on your table in the center of the parlor.”
Before she could say a word, a white tree with attached tiny candlestick lights replaced the vase of flowers. Then Grandpa went under the table to the central floor plug, and with a flip of the switch, colors danced on chandelier crystals.
Grandma was so overwhelmed that she said nothing. Then there came another surprise. Onto the tree that touched the ceiling the men strung white snowball bulbs made by the Sylvania Company. Once plugged in, the snowballs changed into an array of pastel shades. “These are the future,” Grandpa said.
“Nancy, you always tell the children that every problem has a solution. This is our Christmas solution — one tree for you and one for me.” Then he went over to her, pinched her cheeks into a smile, and gave her big kisses.
Grandma grinned saying, “Now, enough kisses, Anthony. I’ll have to get busy crocheting. Our first floor-to-ceiling tree will need twice as many snowflakes.”
Then to us she said, “You see, just when you think your husband never listens, one day you find that he hears you after all. You just need to be patient.” *
How to begin a holiday memoir
Look around you. Talk to your familly at the next gathering. Share your thoughts on an event you remember. Ask elderly relatives what they remember. But keep in mind that it is seldom that two people remember an event the same way. Carry index cards and jot down notes if this helps. But what is most important is that you simply begin writing.
Wishing you memories to treasure.
References:
Memoir writing helps seniors preserve family history , The Jewish Voice,Dec. 19, 2014
Memoir Writing Bridges Past and Present – Psychology Today,Sept 26, 2014
Justin Russell Creative Commons -- Photo credit
Copyright 2014 Rita Watson / www.ritawatson.com
