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I do research and writing about single people. I'm often accused of having an agenda. It's true. I do. I want to contest all the disparaging stereotypes of single people, critique the research that is conducted or presented in misleading ways, speak out for all that single people and single life have to offer, and advocate for social justice for people who are not married. And I want that to continue after I'm gone.
I'm fine. And at 62, I've already had a will for many years. But now I'd like to rewrite it in a more aspirational way. I still want to include as beneficiaries all the people who are typically named in documents like this, but I also want to spell out my fantasies.
Unfortunately, this is just fanciful, as the chances that I will have any nontrivial sums of money left by the time I die are quite slender. But who knows? I guess it is not impossible that one of my books will take off, or something else will prove lucrative. And even if I never do have the resources to fund my fantasies, maybe someone else will read what I've written and realize that this is something they'd like to get behind. So here goes.
I want to fund people and projects devoted to myth-busting, consciousness-raising, and justice-seeking about single life. We need to know more about people who want to live their single lives fully, and not escape them. (So, no money for studies or writings on dating or other attempts to become unsingle!) We need strong, compelling voices, and representations of single life that are inspiring and empowering. We need resources for those who want to work for social justice for single people.
There is an entire marital-industrial complex out there, with vast sums of money for research, messaging, and advocacy in support of marriage. The marriage enthusiasts have lots of power, too. Single people, who account for nearly half of all adults in the US, have almost nothing. Americans spend more years of their adult life not married than married, and yet marriage scripts dominate our politics, our laws, our research, our university offerings, and our ways of thinking about how to live. Every day, disparaging myths about single people are presented as truths, not just in the media but sometimes even in scholarly writings.
I want to do something about that. A foundation would be amazing. A research institute would be great. Advocacy groups would be worthy recipients. But okay, I'm never going to have that kind of money, even in my dreams.
A more modest goal would be something like an annual fellowship given to someone different every year. (Maybe even if I end up having very little to offer, as I anticipate now, it would be worth creating this for a small amount for one year.) If it is just a little bit of money, then it would go towards funding a specific project. If it were more, then I would like to support a single person so that all of their living expenses, as well as their project expenses, would be covered for a year.
Here are examples of some of the kinds of people and projects I'd like to support, in no particular order: (1) Enlightened critiques of whatever matrimania is taking over the media. Push back against the single-minded, inaccurate, and misleading glorifying of couples. Speak out for what single people have to offer. If you can draw from research, better still. (2) Funding for anyone with methodological training to do the kinds of critiques I so often write of research studies purporting to show that getting married makes you happier, healthier, and better off in any other ways. (3) Powerful and engaging essayists, who will write compellingly about single life and what it has to offer. (4) Social activists, who will try to create real change to fight back against singlism and bring social justice to single people. Could include investigative journalists. (5) Creative types, who write fiction or plays or TV or movie scripts or songs with strong, positive single characters and themes about single life. (6) Want to delve into some topic relevant to single life and write a nonfiction book about it? Books based on original research would be great. Memoirs with strong, positive themes about single life would be welcome, too.
What else am I missing?
[Note. I posted a version of this a long time ago at the Community of Single People. There were lots of interesting comments and suggestions – thanks again for that. But so much has been posted there since then that I can't find it. So please feel free to re-post your ideas, and this time I'll save them in a document.]
