3 Ways to Stop Overthinking From Stealing Your Sleep

I wrote two of my past sleep-focused posts with the hope that the suggestions would be helpful, or at least that my writing would put readers to sleep. That's a win either way, right? Instead, these posts revealed just how challenging and precious sleep can be to attain in the age of constant digital stimulation.

In the 4-Word Trick to Stop 3 am Overthinking, readers explored a simple cognitive behavior therapy-based reframing/grounding tool: "This Thought Can Wait."

In The Elevator Trick: A Surprising Way To Get Back To Sleep, visual imagery combined with a relaxation strategy was the key to falling back asleep.

Overthinking Is Far From Overly Kind To Us

Together, these posts (and their high visibility) reflect a widespread problem. That is, scores of people are lying in bed with their minds overrun by nonstop information, unfinished text message exchanges and conversations, compelling urges to scroll social media, work worries, and self-flagellating thoughts. One of the biggest negative thoughts: "I should have been asleep a long time ago!"

Based on listening to the clinical histories of children and adults over the years, I've found that children who struggle to quiet their minds often become adults who have the same issue. The very same maddening thoughts and mental loops that adults wrestle with at night often begin at much younger ages. That's why I explore this issue in detail in my book, Freeing Your Child From Overthinking.

Here Are 3 More Easy-To-Apply Ways To Oust Your Nighttime Overthinking

1. Give your thoughts a place to land

When your mind believes it must hold on to every thought, these thoughts can feel like planes stacked up and circling to land. So, land them on a paper runway (a physical notebook). That's right, a good old-fashioned paper and pen next to your bed (even if you have to briefly turn on your bedside light) is far better than picking up your phone to write on your notes app (because you will likely start scrolling on social media, or even worse, the news, laden with scary headlines).

The point here is that writing down your thoughts on paper tells your brain you are not ignoring them. Your mind relaxes knowing your thoughts are safely stored.

2. Anchor your thoughts to the present

Any gathering of mindfulness experts would provide ample evidence of how overthinking lives in imagined futures and in replayed (often erroneously) pasts. Healthy sleep lives only in the present. So feel the warmth of your blanket. the comfort of your body on your bed, and that super pleasant feeling of letting yourself go before drifting off to sleep.

3. Realize that sleep does not come from pushing all thoughts away

Your goal in getting a good night's sleep is not to push all your thoughts away. Rather, the best way to manage those maddening mental loops is how you respond to them. Gently reminding yourself how far you have come in your life will help you stop obsessing about what you have to do. This matters just as much for adults lying in bed as for children trying to manage their worries. Sleep is not about eliminating your thoughts, but instead about how you hold on to them when you pull the blanket over you at night.