Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Three Signs That He Is NOT Into You!

Know your value--you can't make him love you if he doesn't feel it

I am pleased to share that many readers have written to me in response to my last post, Seven Signs That He's Really In Love With You, requesting that I write about the signs about when he is NOT into you. The following post is in response to these requests.

Before we even get started, I want you to keep three words in mind that will serve you well: KNOW YOUR VALUE! I have seen far too many women (and men) accept mere crumbs from crummy partners. Don't be (or stop being) one of those people who lowers themselves to be of little or no priority to someone who is not into you!

Here are three signs that he is not into you.

1. Hello, are you there?

He blows you off by not returning your calls and text messages or waits days after you reach out. He plays off the fact or completely ignores the fact that he’s been distant. If this goes on, then something’s not right. A person interested in you wants to build the relationship and communication is a major part of that. Yes, a little distance at the beginning of a relationship goes on while partners are being cautious. But, straight up, a half-hearted effort with lame excuses as to why he drops the ball is a major sign that he’s not that into you.

2. You don't exist--in the eyes of his friends or family.

If he doesn’t involve you with others in his life then that reflects on how little he is involved with you. If after a max of three months, he’s not bringing you around any friends or family, it’s a sign that you’re relationship is not moving in the right direction.

3. If he is not Jason Bourne then what gives?

Matt Damon's character, Jason Bourne, had his mind erased so he gets a free pass on not being able to share much about himself to the women who come his way. That said, men who care, like to share! It is that simple. If a guy is short on words about himself, this also means he is not really into you. When a guy shares about himself, he is inviting you into his world because he sees the potential for you to become a part of it.

If a guy is into you, he will be open with you. He may not necessarily tell you when he took his first steps, or whom he had a crush on in middle school, but he will share information that is more real. Guys who want you to know about themselves want to know you and keep you in their lives.

For help overcoming toxic thoughts in relationships, check out my book, Why Can't You Read My Mind?

Dealing with a difficult child or teen or know someone who is? Check out my ten day program to reduce defiant behavior. 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein is a psychologist, personal, and executive coach, and motivational speaker in the greater Philadelphia area. He has been on the Today Show, National Public Radio, and has written four popular books, including Why Can't You Read My Mind? and 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child

advertisement