Do Narcissists Commit Suicide?

There are three basic ways that pathological narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), manifests: the Grandiose/Oblivious type, the Vulnerable/Hypervigilant types, and the High-Functioning type. (Gabbard, 2019) Each type is distinct, but the role of others’ perceptions of the individual and the role of shame in influencing behavior are shared across types. There’s no clear understanding of how or why narcissism develops, so there isn’t a clear path to prevention. Unfortunately, while most people believe they can identify a narcissist, narcissists themselves are generally unable to recognize how their narcissistic behavior is a problem. Because they are living “in the story” of their exaggerated claims of entitlement and success, they are unable to take an objective perspective which help them see that the “extraordinary world” they live in doesn’t leave much room for ordinary relationships. In my own practice, I’ve found that it’s the partners, lovers, friends, and relatives of narcissists who seek counseling about the struggles they have in their relationships with the diagnosable and subclinical narcissists in their lives.

Narcissists seldom seek mental healthcare themselves and so, when faced with exposure or threats to their self-worth, they may not have the necessary coping strategies to deal with the stressors. This can lead to significant dissonance and shame if their false representations of their accomplishments or specialness are pierced by the truth. The shame they feel when this happens has been linked to a risk of suicidal ideation and a rate of attempts higher than in the general population. This increased risk has been found in both clinical and subclinical levels of narcissism (Jaksic et al., 2017; Sprio et al., 2024). Ronningstam (2022) noted that narcissists may attempt or complete suicide without any alerts or threats as they are fully set on the goal to end their lives.

Cause and Effect? Narcissistic Injury, Narcissistic Collapse, and Suicide

What is Narcissistic Injury? While a narcissist may come across as exceptionally self-confident and egotistical, when confronted with evidence of their shortcomings and failures, they may experience what is termed a narcissistic injury. The absence of validation by others creates emotional pain which can be debilitating as their core self-beliefs are threatened. This can result from failures made public, criticism from others, or from abandonment and rejection. The shame narcissists feel when a narcissistic injury is inflicted has been tied to suicidal ideation (Jaksic et al., 2017).

What is Narcissistic Collapse? Narcissistic collapse is a term used to describe the psychological breakdown a narcissist may experience when they can no longer maintain their grandiose self-image or bear to face others if their failures and their true selves have been exposed. Faced with the ultimate humiliation and devastating shame, a narcissist may choose to threaten suicide or carry out the act.

Vulnerable/hypervigilant narcissists were found to be the most likely type to experience suicidal ideation (Jaksic et al., 2017). This is likely due to their hypersensitivity and highly fragile sense of self. Already experiencing an aversion to shame and fear of the loss of the esteem of others, vulnerable narcissists may view suicide as a way to escape shame or to even exert ultimate power through this final act. However, according to a systematic review of the literature by Sprio et al. (2024), grandiose narcissists are more likely to secretly plan and carry out a suicide attempt. While an increased risk for suicidal ideation or attempts was found in the presence of clinical and subclinical levels of narcissism, in cases of clinically diagnosed NPD, suicide attempts have a higher lethality than among those with other personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (Blasco-Fontecilla, et al., 2009). Narcissists often have a clear plan in mind, as their motives may include retribution for others who they feel had harmed them.

Why Narcissists Threaten Suicide

In some cases, threats of may be tied to emotional distress narcissists are unequipped to manage on their own. They also tend to use suicide threats as a way to get what they want from others. Unable to manage healthy, enduring relationships due to their personality disorder, they rely on manipulative behaviors to get others to behave in ways that meet their needs. Here are some of the common reasons that narcissists threaten suicide:

Emotional Blackmail or Extortion. If a person is pulling away from a narcissist or trying to set healthier boundaries in their relationship, threats of suicide may be used to draw that person back into the relationship. Rejection is an extremely painful insult for a narcissist and they may try to get back at the person leaving them through any means possible—especially actions that encourage the other person to feel guilty, to keep them from leaving the relationship, or to force them to show care or concern.

Reaction to Narcissistic Collapse. The narcissist’s self-image is their most cherished possession. When their failures are revealed or a grand plan falls flat, they may feel a level of shame that shakes them to the core and leaves them desperate for escape. When their imagined magnificence is found to be nothing more than a façade, their humiliation and shame can drive them to threaten suicide as a means to regain control or punish the people who pulled down their masks.

Revenge. When a narcissist’s ego has been damaged, they may choose to lash out rather than seek solace or admit failure. One way they may lash out is through threats of suicide that they communicate to the person who has rejected or stood up to them. This can be an effort to cause pain and guilt in others or to show their dominance through the use of these threats. It can also be a way to blame the person for any self-harm actions the narcissist takes; this is how an abuser often frames their abusive behaviors: that the victim is to blame for the abuse they are made to suffer.

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Fulfil the Desire for Ultimate Escape. In some cases, a narcissist’s personality disorder may be accompanied by depression (Dawood & Pincus, 2018) that can go untreated due to the narcissist’s hesitance to seek mental healthcare. Emotional instability coupled with the absence of healthy coping strategies can lead to feelings of emptiness, despair, and suicide as a means of escaping the pain.

If You’re Concerned About a Person You Care About

If a person threatens suicide, encourage them to seek help from their doctor or a therapist. If the person is in immediate danger, seek help by calling 911. If a person does take their own life, it is important to remember that you cannot hold yourself responsible for their decision. Narcissists often engage in careful planning and choose means that are highly likely to be lethal. They often take their own lives at times when no warning or threats have been given, which gives them the opportunity to act without being disturbed. Accepting that there is nothing you could have done to stop them may be difficult to acknowledge, but as you work through the complex grief that loss to suicide generates, it is hoped that you will be able to reframe the experience and accept the truth that there was nothing you could have done to alter the outcome.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.