Should I Tell My Boss I Have ADHD?

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Navigating mental health and neurodivergence at work is full of dialectics—two seemingly opposing truths that are indeed both true. For many professionals, few choices capture this tension more than the question of disclosure. The dialectic of disclosure is real.

On one hand, you have rights. In the U.S., ADHD and other invisible disabilities are often protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. You may be entitled to reasonable accommodations that help you work to your potential.

On the other hand, disclosure can be risky. Unconscious bias, stigma, and misunderstanding still shape many workplaces. Stories of backlash or bias after disclosing a mental health condition are far too common.

So, if you’re one of the millions of adults with ADHD—or navigating another invisible mental health or neurodevelopmental condition—how do you decide whether to share? And if so, how much, when, and with whom?

Some advocates promote disclosure in all situations. I don’t. I’m a firm believer in personal choice. You don’t get to choose how the world will respond, but you do get to choose what you share of yourself.

As a therapist, coach, and manager, I can’t tell you what’s “right.” But I can offer some research-backed insights and frameworks to help you decide what’s right for you.

What is the disclosure dilemma?

While this article focuses on ADHD, these frameworks apply to many invisible mental health conditions—from anxiety and depression to PTSD and learning differences. The dilemma of “Do I share or stay private?” shows up across identities and diagnoses.

Researchers sometimes use the term “Concealable Stigmatized Identities” (CSIs) to describe invisible differences that can be hidden or masked. The disclosure dilemma arises when you have a condition or characteristic that is both maskable and something that is judged negatively by those around you.

If it weren’t for stigma—real or perceived—it wouldn’t be a dilemma.

4 tools to navigate your decision

1. Think in Terms of a Disclosure Continuum.

Disclosure isn’t all or nothing. Many think of disclosure as either shouting your diagnosis from the rooftops or working hard to hide it. But there are multiple levels of disclosure. You might choose to:

• Confide in a trusted friend or colleague
• Share the challenges you’re facing without naming a specific diagnosis
• Request an informal accommodation, such as regular breaks during the day
• Work with HR to request accommodations using only what’s legally required
• Share with your manager or team more openly
• Write or talk about your experience publicly

Why this matters: As you can see, there’s a wide range of approaches when it comes to sharing this part of yourself. When you realize disclosure isn’t binary, you open up new possibilities for honesty, strategy, and self-management.

2. Try a Decisional Balance Matrix.

A classic tool from psychology, the decisional matrix is like an upgraded pros and cons list. It’s still simple, but it adds a little extra nuance to help clarify competing pressures.

Many find themselves stuck in rumination or spinning thoughts when trying to navigate this choice. This makes sense since you may have competing parts of yourself wanting different things. Writing out the pros and cons of both disclosing and not disclosing is a structured way to allow for all the very real competing perspectives to help drive clarity.

Why this matters: Writing everything out reduces overwhelm and brings structure to what often feels like emotional chaos.

3. Clarify Your Motivations.

When it comes to goals of what you’d like to have happen as a result of disclosure, it’s likely they fit into one of two categories: approach goals and avoidance goals.

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Approach goals are goals that are moving towards a desired outcome. Examples include:

• “I’m sharing this because I want to make it safe for others to share as well.”
• “I’m sharing because I trust my manager, and I want to enable them to partner with me on helpful strategies.”
• “I hope this leads to getting the support I need to do my best work.”

Avoidance goals are goals that focus on avoiding negative outcomes. Examples include:

• “I’m sharing this because I don’t want to keep masking–it’s exhausting.”
• “I’m sharing because I’m worried that otherwise my behaviors will be interpreted as not caring.”
• “I’m in over my head. I need to disclose to change the situation.”

Research suggests that approach goals tend to be associated with more positive outcomes. I believe this is because avoidance goals often arise when the situation has become unmanageable, and one is about to face real consequences, such as performance issues or job loss. That said, both types of goals are valid.

Why this matters: While it won’t give you the answer, knowing your “why” brings valuable insight. Knowing what you want to achieve can help uncover multiple potential paths to meet your goals—or boost your resolve to take a hard step.

4. Learn from Common Patterns.

We are social beings, and our brains are designed to learn from watching others. If you are wrestling with your decision, it can be helpful to look at others who have navigated this dilemma. Many organizations have employee resource groups focused on neurodiversity or mental health, and this can be a great resource.

While you may feel alone, I can assure you that you are not. Millions of people are navigating life and work with a learning and thinking difference.

Here’s why some people choose to share:

• Their workplace is safe and models best practices.
• Masking is exhausting.
• They need accommodations to thrive.
• They want to build more authentic relationships.
• They hope to model openness for others.

Here’s why others don’t:

• Fear of bias or judgment
• Evidence of bias or judgment—such as seeing a colleague have a negative experience
• Lack of role models who have disclosed
• Lack of psychological safety in their workplace
• Wanting to keep their private life private

Why this matters: You’re not alone. Learning from others’ paths can help you feel less isolated and more empowered.

Final thoughts

Whether you’re navigating ADHD or another form of invisible difference, your thoughtful reflection regarding disclosure is valid. And you deserve support to determine the best solution for you in your current context.

This article provides simple tools to aid your own decision-making. But there’s more to consider—everything from commonly available accommodations, to scripts you can use with your manager, to how you can be a manager who makes disclosure safe.