Lifelong Love

Valentine's Day--not just a box of Chocolates. Make the holiday more interesting and fun by creating something special together with your partner or friend to celebrate the beauty of relationships and intimate connection. It's teamwork that makes the dream work!

Motivation

Make your New Year's resolution stick

Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, Ph.D., and Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D, ABPP on January 26, 2015

The secret to sticking to that New Year's resolution: working together as a team with your partner can make it fun and effective. Do the "Tea for Two" exercise described in Lifelong Love: 4 Steps to Creating and Maintaining an Extraordinary Relationship, Harlequin, 2012, p. 96.

The secret to sticking to that New Year's resolution: working together as a team with your partner can make it fun and effective. Do the "Tea for Two" exercise described in Lifelong Love: 4 Steps to Creating and Maintaining an Extraordinary Relationship, Harlequin, 2012, p. 96.

Marriage

Keeping Valentine's Day Alive

Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, Ph.D., and Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D, ABPP on February 26, 2014

Community and the Creed of Marriage. Are simply doing what is expected of you in a relationship? Or are you being a vital part of YOUR relationship? Buying a present on Valentine's Day is a nice gesture to a loved one but is one day out of many that you could be expressing the true gift of togetherness.

Community and the Creed of Marriage. Are simply doing what is expected of you in a relationship? Or are you being a vital part of YOUR relationship? Buying a present on Valentine's Day is a nice gesture to a loved one but is one day out of many that you could be expressing the true gift of togetherness.

During the holiday season, it is possible to have your couple be a support for yourself as well as for others in your life. By cooperating together, you may even become a model of a positive relationship that inspires those around you. In doing so, you cultivate a view of the world through "couple consciousness," shifting from individualism to "couplism."

Our couple works out conflicts going all the way back to when they were first dating and creates new possibilities for their future. They're now working on their last step of Lifelong Love's Couple Power Four C's model: Community. They'll be looking at the generational community of their families and valued traditions and then expand to create community with friends.

Use “we” to emphasize your joint responsibility for whatever is going on in your relationship, even when it may seem awkward. For example, if you say, “we’re angry” when one of you is upset, it will help you take joint responsibility for the situation and feel more accepting of each other.

A real couple works through guided homework assignments to improve their relationship and share with you their progress in hopes that it will help your couple too!

We're almost to the halfway point in our Couple Enrichment Contest! In light of this, we'd like to give readers an opportunity to revisit the first couple assignment and complete it with the benefit of seeing some actual work from our winning couple.

An inspiring example of how a couple can use the "Lifelong Love" program to triumph over adverse circumstances in life and maintain their power as Couple.

We are pleased to report that our Couple Contest winners, Brian and Elizabeth (not their real names) have very effectively completed their first assignment on creating a joint vision for their relationship (see our last blog). They made a chart of their goals for their relationship in the present, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years and 15 years and posted it on their refrigerator.

We will be coaching a couple and sharing their progress as they work through 8 relationship-building assignments from "Lifelong Love". Other readers may work through the assignments as they are posted and share their progress on the blog.

Relationships

8-Week Lifelong Love Opportunity

Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, Ph.D., and Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D, ABPP on July 1, 2013

"Being a model of Couple Consciousness that inspires others is a way for your couple to be a source of strength to others."

"Being a model of Couple Consciousness that inspires others is a way for your couple to be a source of strength to others."

While we do believe that love includes “gazing at each other” from time to time, this quote from the philosopher and author of such books as The Little Prince illustrates the concept we call “couple consciousness.”

Marriage

The Fight For Marriage

Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, Ph.D., and Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D, ABPP on April 11, 2013

So what is this thing called “marriage” anyway? It is generally defined as "the state of being united to a person" through a voluntary commitment with certain benefits and responsibilities that accompany it. Some dictionary definitions don’t say anything about gender, but our laws do.

So what is this thing called “marriage” anyway? It is generally defined as "the state of being united to a person" through a voluntary commitment with certain benefits and responsibilities that accompany it. Some dictionary definitions don’t say anything about gender, but our laws do.

Stress

Relationships and Stress

Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, Ph.D., and Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D, ABPP on March 7, 2013

Your relationship can help reduce stress in your life rather than add to it. Here are some tips on how a couple has achieved this and some pointers on how you can too.

Your relationship can help reduce stress in your life rather than add to it. Here are some tips on how a couple has achieved this and some pointers on how you can too.

Lessons to be learned from recent tragedies. Hope for the future lives in the present through community.

Arguing about politics? Communicating with your partner about your different views may not be the answer. Just like with politicians, having more debates and meetigs to argue your case may not help matters. It may even exacerbate the problem and create more division.

Cooperation is necessary for lifelong, not just commitment. You may think you know how to cooperate, but you probably don't. Cooperation is a skill that can be learned. Working together is love in action. Here are some tips on how to achieve the second C or lifelong love, cooperation. Being a team as a couple can be gratifying and fun. Try it.

With all the attention being paid these days to the benefits of being single, how about looking at what it takes to have lifelong love. Here are some tipds from experienced couples therapists.