Life Scripts

Mining Memories and Delving into Life Stories

Jefferson Singer Ph.D.

Collecting Positive Relationship Stories–What's Your Story?

Let's build a database of positive relationship stories!

Positive Couple Therapy: 7 Elements of We-ness (SERAPHS)

What are the key elements to build "we-ness" in relationships?

This Valentine’s Day, Give a We-Story Instead of Flowers!

Couples can give a "We-Story" on Valentine's Day.

Digital Torah

Will the demise of physical books affect the special relationship of Jews to the Torah?

The Artist and the Great Silent Film Memory Divide

The Artist bridges a generational divide for baby boomers.

The Tree of Life and Childhood Memories

How the Catcher in the Rye Pushed Us Over the Edge

 As a psychologist who studies memory, I was fascinated to see how the death of J.D. Salinger brought back a distinct and powerful memory for me. I would like to believe it is a memory shared by a vast number of middle-aged readers, who came of age in the 1960s and early 1970s when the popularity of The Catcher in The Rye was at its zenith.

Michael Jackson and the Man in the Mirror

Born three weeks later than Michael Jackson, his life has always served as an extended time piece of my own.

Good-bye "H.M."

Sarah Palin and Dan Quayle's Most Memorable Moment

Texting Leaves Out More Than the Vowels

Dina and Todd, a couple I had just begun to see in therapy, had a major fight and have broken up. Dina's back with her mother and the only communication she is having with Todd is by texting. Although this has been very efficient in figuring out what to do about the dog and their shared possessions, what happens to their memories of each other?

Reflections on the Woman Who Suffers from Total Recall

Jill Price would be a completely unremarkable person except for the fact that she can remember every moment of her life since 1980.

What Do You Remember of Your College Graduation?

There is a Saucer Magnolia tree in front of the Psychology building at Connecticut College. Each May, its pink and white blossoms unfold to herald the beginning of spring. There is a quiet myth shared among the older faculty that on the last day of classes each year, the final blossom of that Magnolia will drop to the path below, and a short time after we will don our robes for Commencement. Two decades of these ceremonies have filled me with memories...

Men May Be from Mars, But At Least They Can Find Their Way Home

New research has emerged that shows differences in men's vs. women's memories. These findings reinforce some of what we might have expected regarding which partner in a couple is going to be more likely to remember what the hostess looked like at the party and which one might be the better choice to find the way back home.

Where are the Matzoh Balls of Yesterday Year?

This weekend the Jewish holiday of Passover has begun. As Jews around the world sit down to their seder meals, they begin an evening of ritual and the re-telling of the exodus from Egypt. Although there are periodic sips of wine as the story unfolds around the table, there is a long wait before the meal begins. Often the thick salty smell of Matzoh Ball soup pervades the dining room, and while the leader intones the next blessing, memories are stirred in a Proustian flood of images.  How does smell memory work and why does it have this compelling emotional power?

Meet the Beatles of your Memory

Where do the Beatles fit in your personal memories? Do you have a favorite memory of hearing one of their songs, seeing one of their films, or of discussing which Beatle was your favorite? Now the English memory researcher, Martin Conway has created a website where you can log your memories.

It Was a Most Memorable Night and Nothing Happened

Are some of the best days of our lives, the ones that we should burn most deeply into the long-term store of memory, also some of the most uneventful and uncomplicated ones? Should we make more of an effort to remember the quiet contented times along with the roller coaster rides of success and failure, heartbreak and triumphant love?

“Why does that little girl have dirty skin?”

With Barack Obama's recent historical speech on the continuing racial divide in the country, I thought it would be helpful to share some of my research on people's earliest memories of racial difference and prejudice. The take-home message is earliest encounters linger and will influence our lives, if we let them do so!

Will David Paterson Be a "Visionary" Leader?

Given that I am currently living in England, I had not seen any pictures or read much information about David Paterson, the new governor of New York State, replacing Eliot Spitzer. Today I realized that he is not only the first African-American governor of New York, but he is also legally blind. So what do we know about memory in the blind?

Is Spitzer Already Working on His Comeback?

Why are we Americans such suckers for stories of redemption? Will Eliot Spitzer follow the lead of my home state’s disgraced ex-Governor John Rowland (who also resigned) and take to the lecture tour, saying “I made mistakes,” while ending up with a lucrative lobbying or consultant job? If so, the answer lies in our cultural weakness for the happy ending.

Jefferson Singer asks, "Are You Ready for Your Close-Up?

In the classic Billy Wilder film Sunset Boulevard, Gloria Swanson plays a washed-up silent film star. At the end of the film, after shooting her younger lover, she goes mad and surrounded by news cameras, imagines that she is back on a Hollywood set. She announces, “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.” In this one moment her life of vanity, glamour, and despair is captured. Are there single moments in your life, positive or negative, that capture who you are and what you are all about?

Will Obama's Election Fire the Flashbulbs of Memory?

If Barack Obama is elected president, will the night of his election linger in people’s memories like other momentous events in American history, such as the landing on the moon, the assassination of JFK, or the events of 9/11? In the parlance of memory research the latter three events all generated “flashbulb memories” in millions of people who witnessed these epoch-changing milestones on television or learned the news by radio or from another person. Would Obama’s election do the same?