Trump and Narcissism

Narcissism is back--it's on the cover of Psychology Today (September/October 2016)! Donald Trump is responsible for narcissism’s return to the popular consciousness. I wrote a lot about it almost 40 years ago ("Comment on Colleen Clements: The Misuses of Narcissism," Psychoanalytic Review, Summer 1982: 296-302; "Narcissism or Individualism?," Partisan Review, April 1981: 285-88; "Pop Narcissism," Psychology Today, October 1979: 14-17), but it is suddenly in vogue again. Psychologists and psychiatrists are jumping on the bandwagon through virtual diagnoses of Donald Trump based on his behavioral characteristics. So I thought it was time for me to say something about it. After all, I know more about it than anyone else. Believe me!

Psychoanalysts do not make diagnoses based on symptoms, but rather psycho- dynamics which can only unfold in the consulting room. But even for psychoanalysts, narcissism has many different meanings. Freud used the concept of narcissism in at least four different ways. His connection between narcissism and self-esteem remains the most relevant for a narcissistic personality disorder. In the most general terms, narcissism is a continuum that we all have to more or less degrees. But a narcissistic personality disorder is diagnosed when narcissism is a defense against loss of self-esteem.

Psychoanalysts believe that when the infant is hungry and gets fed or is irritated by a dirty diaper and the diaper is changed, the infant feels omnipotent. The infant does not yet know there is a separate person who is performing these functions. This is narcissistic perfection.

If mothering is good enough, the infant/toddler soon learns that it is a separate person doing these tasks and that person sometimes (not too often) fails. But if the mothering person disappoints too often OR never disappoints, then the child does not develop a sense of trust or resilience--two major ingredients essential for self-esteem and relationships with other people. Without developing trust or resilience, the child may hold on to the fantasy of his wishes always getting satisfied and other people are experienced as serving that function. People with narcissistic personality disorders experience relationships with other people as if the others are parts of themselves that serve to comfort and support them, rather than separate people with their own needs and desires. Psychoanalysts call this self-objects.

When another person cannot read his mind (as Mommy did when he was a hungry infant), the narcissistic personality is so disappointed, he is enraged. The cycle of expecting the other to be in perfect harmony and the disappointment of that not happening sets the stage for a repetitive boom and bust. One narcissistic patient had a repetitive dream of walking on a high wire and trying to not look down. Some narcissists will defend themselves from the fall by claiming to not need anyone else, but they are always in danger. As I told one of my patients (of very long standing), "You are like a balloon who needs someone's constant breath to be full and feels always in danger of being pricked and bursting."

When their narcissistic defense fails, some patients fall into a depression while others respond with rage, assaulting and blaming everyone. We have witnessed Donald Trump's balloon with crowds pumping it full of air, but we don't know what he will do if it bursts.

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