When Someone Else's Tragedy Becomes Your Fear

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We now have unprecedented access to so much information. Thanks to social media, digital news platforms, and various safety phone apps, we find out that a high school classmate lost his battle with cancer, but that Princess Catherine won hers. We learn that there was a car break-in five miles away, and that a prisoner in another state on death row was found innocent after 20 years and was set free. We can learn this information all within a matter of minutes.

Aside from the burden of information overload that so many of us feel, there’s another problem, especially for those who are prone to anxiety. That is, when we hear about events in the news or events that happen to people we know, there is a tendency to overestimate the prevalence of bad things. In fact, violent crime in the US has decreased significantly since 1990, although it might not feel that way because we have access to so much more information.

For an anxious person hearing about something bad, there is also a tendency to overestimate the possibility of something bad happening to themselves. Their thought process goes something like this:

"Because this horrible thing happened to [insert name of friend, celebrity, acquaintance, or acquaintance of acquaintance], then I am at high risk of this thing happening to me."

For example, there has been a lot in the news recently about the Lindsay Clancy trial. It’s a devastating story of a woman with postpartum psychosis who killed her three young children. I’m in an online Facebook consultation group with many therapists who treat obsessive-compulsive disorder and other anxiety issues. Many have reported an increased concern among postpartum women with obsessions or intrusive thoughts about harming their babies after hearing about this trial. This trial is serving to amplify pre-existing obsessions and intrusive thoughts.

Threat Bias and Anxiety

As much as people want to try to get rid of anxiety, some of it is adaptive and protective. We evolved to have anxiety as a way of recognizing threat. Evolutionarily, if people (or animals) did not experience anxiety, they would not survive. If a hungry predator approached a totally chill caveperson who didn't react, the predator might attack. Today, if you were crossing a road and a car came speeding from out of nowhere towards you, you would need to have a fear response to get out of its way and protect yourself.

Even though some anxiety is a good thing, people who struggle with anxiety issues tend to overestimate the amount of threat there actually is in a given situation. It is almost as if they have a finely tuned antenna that picks up scary information.

Here are some examples of overestimation of threat with anxiety issues:

• Justin, who has an airplane phobia, views flying as more dangerous than it actually is—every time he has to fly, he is convinced that the plane will crash.
• Social anxiety is a prevalent issue in Juan’s life, in that it prevents him from doing a lot of different things. For example, he is so afraid of saying something stupid in a meeting (fearing he will be judged by his entire team and then fired) that he avoids speaking up as much as he can.
• Mikayla avoids driving on freeways because she has a fear that she will have a panic attack while driving, causing her to lose control of her car and kill herself and others in the process.
• Jamie was the victim of sexual assault and has PTSD as a result. She has stopped going out at night entirely, for fear of being victimized again.
• Imagining that they will forget to turn off the gas stove, causing their house to burn down, Mel gets stuck in a loop, checking it over and over and over again.

Threats and the News

Let’s revisit the issue of anxiety and bad things in the news. We are constantly inundated with information about bad things going on in the world. Understandably, it’s easy to assume that those threats are more personally relevant than they are, making us more anxious as a population. However, much of this anxiety is unwarranted.

Hearing about a plane crash might make flying seem highly dangerous, when, in fact, there are billions of flights each year that don’t crash. Or just because you heard of a friend of a friend who has a rare disease, it does not make you at greater risk.

And, as heartbreaking as the story of Lindsay Clancy is, just because she had postpartum psychosis and went on to kill her kids, it doesn’t mean that you are at risk of doing the same. Postpartum psychosis is very rare (affecting .1 to .2 percent of pregnancies), and of those women with a psychotic reaction, 4 percent will engage in infanticide.

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Although any death of a child by their mother is horrific, it is a very rare occurrence. On the other hand, research has found that over one half of all postpartum women have unwanted intrusive thoughts or images of intentionally harming their babies. It is very normal to have an intrusive thought or image of harming your child and not be at risk at all of doing it. Of note, almost all new mothers have thoughts of accidental harm happening to their babies.

Giving Yourself a Reality Check

Some people could benefit from a break from the news or social media. However, if your anxiety feels difficult to manage, consider talking to your doctor or finding a mental healthcare provider who specializes in treating anxiety.

Remember, if you start to personalize something distressing because you heard about it in the news, or because it happened to someone you know (or know of), you can give yourself a reality check. You can ask yourself: Is my risk really greater just because I heard it happened to someone else?