How to Find a Meaningful, Purposeful Focus

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At work, my mentor said it’s a good idea to develop an area of interest. How do I know what’s right for me?

I don’t love my job, but I need the steady paycheck. I need to do something outside of work that feels meaningful to me. Or maybe I should just join a gym? I don’t even know …

All education and careers come with some amount of burdensome work. That is unavoidable. Sometimes the best option isn’t the most interesting, but the one that is most stable, or the one that provides a positive environment.

Then, there are moments in life when an area of concentration becomes possible, whether at work or during your free time. It can feel overwhelming when life provides possibilities, and you are supposed to sort through which one to choose. Deciding which path to travel is not inconsequential. Identifying an interest that will be sustaining can feel tricky.

In these situations, it’s easy to push up against “should”. I “should” specialize in this field because it will look good on my resume. I “should” be part of this project team because it is the most prestigious. I “should” spend my precious free time in a recommended activity, even though I don’t like it that much. The “should” focuses on outside forces, instead of looking inward.

To help identify a direction with meaning and purpose, I have a construct that I have used successfully throughout my career; I call it “Finding the Buzz”.

Identifying an Area of Enduring Interest

“Finding the buzz” means leaning into subjects or projects that you think about during spare open moments during the day. With our smartphones, it can be more difficult to tune into this experience, because “finding the buzz” requires quiet space so our mind has the opportunity to wander. If these moments are filled with ongoing engagement, whether social media scrolling or short videos, it can be harder to tune into oneself.

Once in the shower, walking to your car, or on your commute without constant distractions, what are you thinking about? In the quiet, where does your mind go? Is there something at work or a project at home that you might want to investigate?

Follow the musings that have a sense of play over those with anxious or ruminative circles. Pay attention to the question “I wonder what would happen if…”, especially if it leads to a sense of exploration, not worry. Once the spark is lit, one idea may lead to another, boosting enthusiasm and curiosity. Ask yourself: does it feel challenging and creative to think about this topic, or alternatively, does it feel depleting and burdensome?

Pursuing the Buzz Is Rejuvenating

As a therapist, I focus on building strengths and passions, in addition to understanding vulnerabilities and distress. In the office (identifying details changed), I cheer on a middle-aged woman who extracted herself from an abusive marriage and is now passionate about weight-lifting and the community it has provided. A 24-year-old struggles to find meaning after college, until she finds inspiration and joy pursuing modern dance and painting in her spare time. An electrician with an enduring side interest in politics was secure but bored in his job. He volunteered at a union meeting and ran into his buzz. He is considering a career shift to become a full-time union employee.

I have used this concept to guide my career with positive results. While much of medical training is pre-determined, there are moments when one can choose a side project. During specialty training, I was offered opportunities to do research, write a paper, or work on a book chapter. I couldn’t muster enthusiasm for any of these, although all would help forward my career.

Then, as I struggled to learn psychotherapeutic techniques, I commented to a wise supervisor that I would like to write a book on psychotherapy for beginners once I had more experience. “Let’s write it now together,” he proposed.

I started thinking about this idea while on the elevator on the wards, and in my evening spare time. I grabbed a composition book (which nowadays would be a Notes app) and filled it with questions and ideas. The buzz planted the seed for Becoming a Therapist: What Do I Say and Why, which I wrote with my mentor, Dr. Ed Messner. The project took six years to complete, but the work was inherently interesting to me, so I stayed engaged even when the grunt work was substantial.

Years later, I know a project (or a blog topic) is right for me if the concept acts as a catalyst and I start thinking about new angles or approaches to the idea during my free moments. This is my green light to move forward.

The pursuit of any endeavor has three sections. There is the first portion of the project when the excitement predominates; this is the creative surge with pop-up thoughts. Then, whatever the undertaking, the middle section is the most challenging. If it is writing and teaching, it is the strenuous work organizing ideas and editing. If it gardening, it is weeding. If it is learning a new skill, it is acquiring expertise, which requires sweat equity and lots of repetition. To maintain focus for the middle difficult section, it helps a great deal to have a buzz at the beginning. The feeling of opportunity, curiosity and interest fuels the pursuit. Then, at the end, it all comes together with a new ability or a final product.

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A side benefit: identifying what is meaningful to you is protective in a world where we all have too much information about what others are doing or have done. Comparison and FOMO lose power if you are excited about your own choices. The prestige is internal. Confidence emerges when you are making the choices that are inherently valuable and interesting to you.