Let's Talk Tween

Information and insight about kids ages 8-12 (the "in between" years)

Jennifer Powell-Lunder Psy.D.

My Tween's a Holiday Horror!

Do you cringe and hold your breath when it’s time to open the presents because you can’t anticipate your tween’s reaction?

Yes, You Are That Embarrassing!

As parents, we like to revel in the idea that our children are a reflection of us. In reality, however, this is not how tweens see things.

College Bound: The Tween They Left Behind

With so much going on, parents may overlook what their tween is experiencing when an older child leaves home. But it's hard to watch their role model leave.

The Fortnite Phenomenon

I recently posted a comment on social media about Fortnite, and the response I got was overwhelming. Friends and family from all over weighed in.

Making #MeToo Matter

#MeToo provides a magical teaching moment. It is an opportunity to model empowerment and change.

Empowering Your Anxious Tween

Anxiety is a beast that can be contained, if not completely slain.

Buyer Beware: Two New Apps Your Tweens Should Avoid

Two apps that have developed popularity among teens and tweens are raising red flags with law enforcement and others.

My Mean Tween Made Me Cry

Seeking to affirm their individual opinions and identities kids start to argue back. These new responses may at first seem sweet, but sassy lacks luster when you're the target.

Caution: Your Tween May be Stressing Over Snap Streaks

Stopping your tween from continuing a Snapchat streak can easily make him feel like you are forcing him to commit social suicide. He will bargain and beg to keep his streaks going.

When His Homework is Your Personal Purgatory

You are in homework hell and the assignments aren’t even your responsibility! As a parent, you feel as if it all falls on you.

Election Aftermath: A Teaching Moment for Our Children

The future is truly in the hands of our children; our response to them should be one of hope and encouragement. We must empower them to have a voice.

My Easygoing Kid Is Stressing Me Out!

If you are a Type A parent, raising a Type B tween can be rigorous. A part of you probably admires your low-key kid, even though his laid back attitude can at times make you crazy.

When Sibling Rivalry Goes Awry

You may remember the days in the not so distant past when you were the envy of friends and family. “Your kids get along so well,” they would gush.

Clark Kent Syndrome: When Boys Are Social Media Supermen

There is a disturbing trend that seems to be whispered about in the hallways of schools.

Digital Age Parenting: Conquering the Cultural Divide

Even the most tech savvy parents still find themselves at a loss, a half a step behind their digital age kids.

TBH: A Free Pass for Tween Mean?

A call for ‘TBH’ (aka To be honest) or a request for a ‘rating’ (usually from one to ten) opens kids up to receive derogatory comments and criticism.

My Child Has a Different Kind of Brain

You feel helpless and even useless. Your brain doesn't work the same way as your child’s. It's frustrating when your efforts to help are rejected because they are ineffective.

Teaching Tolerance in a Time of Terror

It may seem easy to counteract chaos and unrest resulting from terrorist attacks by pointing fingers at entire groups. We need to be clear about what such stances communicate especially to our children.

When 12 Feels Like 20

Kids today are growing up faster than ever before. Perhaps the greatest irony is that while our kids seem more mature, earlier, many of us strive to remain young. 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40. At the rate our tweens are growing up and we're trying to stay young, you have to figure that we'll seem the same age as our kids in no time.

Back to school dread: Beyond first day jitters

There are some kids for whom the idea of going back to school can create sheer panic and overwhelmingly angst. These tweens typically revel in the relief associated with summer. As the first day of school gets closer they become more anxious. This often results in increased irritability, agitation and sometimes feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

Women’s World Cup Win: Contributions to Tween Self-Esteem

Each of these players tells a unique story. What bonds them all together is their love of soccer and their desire to be the best. Role models such as the USA Women’s National Soccer team are important for our tweens and teens. Their accomplishments as individuals, and of course, their victory as a team model important lessons.

Just Boy Banter or Tween Mean?

Tween boys are particularly prone to running in packs, complete with alpha and beta males. Similar to the queen bee who likes to hold court, alpha males are known to challenge and test the betas who surround them. There is of course a difference between playful teasing and bullying.

She Thinks She’s Hot: Sexual Awareness or Something Else?

It’s not just her clothes you notice. The way she carries herself has also changed. Her walk is now more of a saunter similar to your cat. The way she tosses back her head and laughs, you could swear she seems more like thirty than twelve. Just the other day she seemed to be batting her eyelashes at the college kid across the street when he dropped off a package.

Motivation: Can You Encourage Your Tween to Care?

Tweens are at the age of assertion. This becomes more obvious the older they get. They may start to make more of their own choices about friends and interests. It is the values that their parents impart to them however, that have a great hand in determining these decisions.

Finding Followers: Tweens Cash in on a New Commodity

In the world of social media a new type of currency has been created. Known as tweeps, peeps, friends, or followers, the net worth of an account is based on their number. Today's social media savvy tweens seem to want in on the action.

My Tween’s not a Germaphobe but Ebola Is Freaking Her out

Tweens are at a vulnerable age when their capacity for abstract thinking is just expanding, while their propensity toward magical thinking may still be in play. This can lead to misinterpretations of events and issues. In relation to the topic of ebola specifically, kids may have a misunderstanding of how and where the virus can be contracted.

In the Pursuit of a Passion

During the tween years a subset of kids identifies a passion. This can be both exciting and a bit scary for parents who strive to ensure that their child is well rounded. When a child identifies a true passion, it is quite common for her to immerse herself wholeheartedly in the pursuit of this activity at the expense of all others.

Yes, She Knows: Why Tweens are Sensitive to Secrets

So much of parenting is about appropriately managing information. Parents must learn to strike the balance between telling their kids the truth, and shielding them from the impact of concerns and tensions. Tweens feel everything. They are so sensitive to shifts experienced on the home front. This is why secrets are not easily kept from them.

Tweens and Alcohol: More Aware Than You May Think

It is simply human nature that when we feel like we lack the ability to accomplish a task (such as talking to our kids about this sensitive subject) we are prone to procrastinate. This leaves our tweens open to forming impressions of their own. Through a multitude of media outlets, they are sure to take in information, draw conclusions, and develop specific points of view.

Cell phones change how you parent your child.

Cell Phone Contemplation: A Snapshot of Life Before & After

A parent’s life before tween possession of a cell phone is comparatively easy. Cell phones represent a potential set of stresses that your parents were not required to manage. There’s sanctity in the solitude of a life without cell phones and social networking. Once you hand your tween the device, there is no turning back.

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