The Secret Superpower of Vulnerability

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Fritz Breithaupt is a cognitive neuroscientist and professor at the University of Pennsylvania who studies the role of narrative in our lives. In his book The Narrative Brain: The Stories Our Neurons Tell, he points out that most of the Grimm brothers’ fairy tales center on the vulnerability of their heroes. This vulnerability is often borne out of an earlier trauma—abandonment or orphanhood, for example—which leaves its character hypervigilant to danger and presumably with a certain level of cunning at recognizing and responding to that threat.

The key to the vulnerable character in fairy tales is changeability: that is, their identity is not yet fully formed and thus can be developed in positive ways. In fairy tales, vulnerable heroes, such as children or animals, face danger, are tested, and are either rescued or rise to the occasion, performing their own escape by outwitting danger with learned cunning stemming from earlier trauma or deprivation. Thus, in fairy tales, vulnerability becomes a valuable strength and a winning strategy for dealing with the evils of the world.

Vulnerability is, at its core, being open to change. This receptivity, this emotionality, is held up by fairy tales as the key personal quality of humankind. Claiming one’s vulnerability, Breithaupt argues, can be seen not as a sign of weakness but as an act of empowerment. Personal trauma, experiences of injustice, and the suffering of oppression can not only be openly discussed but also used to claim one’s own power and influence. He points to Simone Biles being applauded for prioritizing her mental well-being by stepping back from gymnastics competition as an example of this vulnerability as an empowerment principle. (1)

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What This Means for Us as Humans (and As Professionals)

How does this vulnerability-as-superpower in a fairy tale translate to employing our own vulnerability as a source of strength, personal growth, and deeper connections in our everyday lives?

Being vulnerable implies a certain risk-taking. When we fall in love, for example, we open ourselves up to another human being. We drop our defenses. We show our true selves, not knowing how we will be received, but understanding that one consequence could be a deepening of this embryonic connection we have made. In this way, sharing ourselves, making ourselves vulnerable to another, can lead to positive outcomes. (2)

Sharing vulnerabilities can have professional rewards as well. In becoming physicians, nurses, psychologists, and therapists, many of us have had to merge or square our personal identities and values with the canons and general ethos that will become our professional identities. Reflecting upon our own prior experiences with illness and suffering, trauma and pain can ultimately lead clinicians to relate on a deeper level with their patients’ illness experiences. Thus, personal vulnerability can be used to advantage professional strength.

Connecting to our deeper selves makes us more adept at connecting to others. Seeing our own vulnerabilities mirrored in our clients confirms our mutual suffering as a human commonality. We are in this raw human experience together. This can lead us to deep meaning in our daily clinical lives, which is well-known to stave off professional burnout. All of this comes from being willing to be vulnerable. (3)

Taking Risks Boldly

When we are willing to let our guard down, to share our most vulnerable selves, we open ourselves up to all kinds of possibilities. Openness as a personality trait is associated with increased creativity, greater mental flexibility, and a better ability to navigate uncertainty in life. (4) We can confront our hesitancies and take risks.

Being vulnerable also helps us to live more authentic lives. Showing our true selves to others encourages them to do the same with us. Our lives fill with meaning. Connections deepen.

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Vulnerability and Changeability

I believe, like Breithaupt, that the central characteristic of the vulnerable individual that allows them to turn that vulnerability into a strength is changeability. Being open—to new ideas, to new experiences, to new ways of thinking—means we are also open to our own personal growth. With reflection, we see our pasts, our traumas, with new eyes. We weave our stories with a new thread—a stronger thread.

Vulnerability comes full circle: from pain to progress, from suffering to strength, and from perceived weakness to human superpower.