Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A.

Just Listen

What Your Sleeping Positions Reveal About Your Relationship

Do you snuggle or do you need your space?

Posted Feb 08, 2010

 from Divorce360

Do you like to snuggle up to your honey under the covers, or are you the type who needs your space? Your behavior in bed may be trying to tell you something important about the health of your relationship.

"The way partners share a bed says a huge amount how much they really like each other, trust and feel safe with each other," says Dr. Mark Goulston, Chief Relationship Officer at Happier Couples. "Analyzing sleep positions can highlight trouble spots they may not even be aware of."

Recognizing what these unconscious signs indicate can help couples iron out problems before they reach a crisis, Goulston adds.

1. The Spoon.
One partner cuddled up to the back of the other is the most common position in the first few years of a relationship. It implies physical trust and a feeling of complete emotional safety. "For many couples the Spoon is a comforting cocoon," says Baltimore psychologist and marital therapist Shirley Glass.

2. The Lovers Hug.
Typically the man is on his back with his arm around his partner and her head on his shoulder. Utter contentment is the hallmark here. "You're literally being brought in under the wing," Glass says. "It's a very nurturing position."

3. The Hooked Leg.
Casually touching your partner with your foot or leg indicates a healthy camaraderie. "They are showing a need for closeness as well as a desire to maintain individuality," Goulston says.

4. Back to Back.
Faced away from each other with only your buttocks touching allows a private connection without clinging. “Like two circles, separate but overlapping, this position is a perfect definition of interdependence,” Glass contends.

Read about the next four positions at: Usable Insight blog

Check out Dr. Goulston's seminal book, The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again...and Stay There (Perigee, 2002) and discover what may be going on in your minds when you're under the covers.