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Children’s top-ranked summertime activity is not amusement parks which involve hours in the car, trips to fancy museums, or even going to the zoo. It’s free-play outside.
A U.K. survey of 1500 children ages 5 to 11 showed that children most enjoy “simple pleasures,” free-play, and outdoor play. Children ranked high on the list activities such as playing in the park or garden, making mud pies, playing in a kiddie pool, feeding ducks, climbing trees, and flying kites. They ranked organized trips much lower.
For some parents, valuing and making room for free play outside can be tough.
Here are four factors parents may need to overcome to prioritize children's simple pleasures.
Overcome a belief that “going somewhere special” will be special.
“Special time” with kids is special because it’s fun, enjoyable, and full of laughter, freedom, and connection. It can be “special” to cook breakfast, plant zucchini seeds, shovel snow, go for a walk, or vacuum out the car together. The active ingredients of special time are within the relationship and interactions, not in the activities and locations.
Overcome a need to keep up with the Joneses, especially the Facebook Joneses.
As friends and neighbors post photos of their families at water parks, ice skating extravaganzas, baseball games, doll shops, train museums, monster truck mashes, robotics classes, and pottery painting studios, it’s easy to feel a deep need to do the same. After all, that stuff does look amazing, and you don’t want to fall behind. What you'll never see on social media is the tantrum when it's time to leave, the carsick toddler, or any other challenge they might have encountered.
Overcome a fear that kids could be bored.
It’s natural to want to keep your kids learning, growing, and having fun. Sometimes a big outing seems like it will take care of all that without whining, arguing, or loafing. However uncomfortable, boredom is pretty terrific, especially if practiced often. Research suggests that boredom has the potential to foster creativity, motivation, and a more active pursuit of enjoyment and meaning.
Overcome a belief that super-outings will alleviate guilt the fastest.
Sparkly impressive outings seem effective at quickly alleviating or transcending feelings of guilt. A baseball game seems like it will erase guilt faster than hanging out in the yard. Sometimes it doesn't.
Because of their apparent magic and shine, it's easy to think that big outings are superior to the simpler stuff. While organized trips can be a wonderful, fun component of a life with kids, everyday moments can be just as compelling. Carving out space for simple pleasures that define childhood, (such as playing in the sand, riding bikes, swinging, or goofing around in the yard), is also an awesome expression of love.
Copyright Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD
Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD, author of Joy Fixes for Weary Parents (2017), is a counselor for individuals and couples in Chicago's western suburbs www.erinleyba.com. Sign up at www.thejoyfix.com for email updates on tools to build personal or family joy or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
