Relationships
Life Cycles—Pivotal Moments That Enhance Our Lives
The pivotal moments in our life cycles aren't always the milestones
Posted March 23, 2017
Life cycles consist of births, deaths, and all the milestones in between, but I also wonder, too, about the often small, pivotal moments—the highlights—of these cycles.
A mark of independence on my life cycle—began when I finally got my ears pierced at 13 after harping at this demand non-stop for 3 years. Once I got the studs, I was on to the next desire, most likely dating, another highlight in my young life, which continued until I met my future husband, certainly a major notch on my life’s journey.
Another key element of my life cycle was leaving home for college. Perhaps college began my true independent life, but I could never negate the previous 18 years nor would I erase kindergarten as the true beginning of my milestones. What about my countless little turtles, fish, hamsters, and guinea pigs that punctuated my love of animals, leading me to the first dog love of my life at 38—Teddy, and then Emma, my current furry adoration?
My life cycle took on a different meaning when I sadly experienced death, one by one, of my beloved grandparents and aunts and uncles. At my paternal grandmother Nana Rose's funeral, I was four months pregnant with my first child. Just as her life cycle had ended, at the same time, I was joyful to anticipate the beginning of my unborn son’s own life cycle. In years to come, I would also sadly stand at the cemetery through the loss of my mother and father, definitely the end to their life cycles and in my own role as a daughter, along with a sliver of my heart buried with them. All of this grief and the joy of new life became elements of my life cycle, intertwined through our familial connection.
In what seemed like fleeting moments as a new mother, I am now, almost suddenly, a grandmother and I can gratefully view the final connection between generations and our life cycles, which are forever linked. These little ones have first and middle names that reflect their great-grandparents they will only know through photographs and recounted stories.
My little boys of long ago are men with full lives of their own. My sons have become boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands (it is still awe-inspiring to see a ring on my son's left hand). One is now a father of two and the others may become parents in time, if that is their wish. As parents, this will be their life cycles, but also part of my own.
While my life cycle is defined by the big, traditional moments, both joyful and terribly sad, it is the moments and memories in between these big feature events that define the ebbs and tides of my life's current.
I remember the joys of watching my oldest son reading a book while lying on his bed one day after school. In that moment's glimpse of his adolescent body's recline, exhausted from his 9th grade routine, I saw his pure delight as he enveloped himself within the pages of his chosen reading. Was that the beginning of his lifelong love of literature? Probably not, but it was definitely part of his defining life cycle and his ultimate career choice. I feel as if I had a front row seat to such a monumental life cycle event that could easily have gone unnoticed.
The life cycle of my second son most likely was forever enhanced and possibly changed by a video camera. My father, his Papa Milton, always believed in his natural talent connected to movies and directing, so he wanted to purchase his grandson's first video camera. It has probably been over 25 years since that purchase and while the camera and Papa are sadly gone, perhaps in small way, both provided the foundation for my son's love of making movies and his amazing technical abilities in creating videos within his chosen profession. There most certainly must be a camera icon of some sort in the visual image of his life cycle.
My youngest son’s life cycle was punctuated with moments that came alive one Sunday when we went to a bowling alley. At the lane next to us was a professional bowler and coach. It was at that moment that his love of the game joined with frequent instruction and for many years after, almost every weekend was spent in an alley. He owned his own bowling balls, bags, shoes, and other paraphernalia. While he isn't a pro-bowler, even today, he can pick up a bowling ball and play well, and most of all, enjoy the game. I assume his memories come flooding back to the earlier part of his life cycle in which bowling was an essential part of his life. While it might not have been the proverbial watershed life event, it was to me as I saw the sparks of joy fly across his little-boy face when he held that first bowling.
Besides becoming a wife and a mother, my life cycle moments must include my first teaching job, and earning my doctorate as an "older" adult. The surprise parties our three boys planned perfectly for us to celebrate our 30th and 40th anniversaries are part of the forever highlights of my life’s progression.
The more I think about my life cycle, the more I connect with T.S. Eliot words: "What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start." But, I would add that it is everything in between the big events that adds the vibrant colors to my own life’s pallet, always connected to the life cycles of those I hold so dear.
