Gratefuls

I am generally very positive and optimistic, one who traditionally chooses to view the proverbial glass half full. Yet, I can also get so caught up in my day-to-day concerns that the hours feel insurmountable and heavy. In getting through such times, especially when the weight of my challenges presses upon me, I remind myself to refocus—to appreciate the daily nuggets of joy, no matter how tiny, which I always encounter when I am aware of their presence. My daily Grateful Lists help me to return to the essential, to what is most important in the infusion of my joy despite my troubles.

My compassionate niece Jill and I have been exchanging our daily lists through email for over six years. Occasionally, we will comment on one or two of the items on our respective lists, but generally, we just push "send" and continue on with our lives. Her Gratefuls greet me as part of my early morning routine, for she writes at the end of her day when her young children are finally asleep and she can climb into her comfy bed with her books and her laptop. Hers is the first email I open the next morning. I then respond with my own list while sipping my dark-roast coffee while fluffy Emma lies next to my feet (often two items on my Grateful List).

Source: Barbara Jaffe/Blogger

Through these short catalogs of our mutual appreciation for the little and not-so-little elements of our lives, which vary from five to ten items, I am brought back to the joyful essentials and what sustains me despite setbacks and difficulties. We do not judge or evaluate or question each other’s lists. When I read her items, I smile, for they reflect a young mother’s daily demanding life, also reminding me of the poignant baby smells and the tightly wrapped little arms that once enveloped my waist. Her Gratefuls bring back such precious memories of a house full of noise and joyful chaos. I consider, too, whether my lists, appreciation for adult children and grandchildren, independence, thoughts of retirement and a quiet home, beckon her toward a longing for a slightly simpler routine, one that provides delicious, uninterrupted sleep. Is it possible that she appreciates my Gratefuls as well?

For a few years, for a special birthday gift, I saved Jill’s Gratefuls over the course of a year and printed them out, cutting a total of 365 Grateful strips. I stuffed them all into a plastic container with the label of Gratefuls, and every day, with excited anticipation, she would take one out of the jar, calling it her Grateful of the Day. She would often remark that the one she chose was exactly the one she needed to read the most.

My Grateful Lists enable me to focus on the seemingly insignificant elements of life that can be easily overlooked. Ironically, these items are the most important. These daily lists are especially appreciated when my thoughts are stuck in darkness and I want to choose self-pity over lightness. Also, when I tell myself I am far too busy to write the lists, I know that I am in need of them more than ever, for they always have such power to redirect such melancholy, distracted thoughts.

Source: Barbara Jaffe/Blogger

We are all quite aware of the big-ticket items of our gratitude: health, family, love, a job, food on the table, a roof over our heads, but the daily Gratefuls break down these large concepts into bite-sized joyful morsels of appreciation—manageable and obtainable by all who take the time to acknowledge them on paper. Five little items, one on each line, can refocus my thoughts and reenergize me.

Here is a sample of my Gratefuls (never in any order):

1. The first sip of my morning coffee
2. Ezzie (grandson) saying, “Hi, Nana!” when he sees me
3. The ability to teach
4. A new lipstick color
5. My husband’s smile when he comes home from work
6. When my son says “I love you” at the end of a phone conversation
7. My walks with Emma (my sweet poodle/bichon)
8. Beginning a new book
9. My daily writing
10. Removing the gray out of my hair…again
11. The rain so badly needed
12. My granddaughter's 8-day old hand
13. Chocolate Easter eggs
14. A new pair of shoes
15. My granddaughter’s sleeping smile
16. Pizza
17. Memories of my parents
18. Trees
19. Music
20. A warm bed at the end of a long day