Is an Extremist Jerk Jerking You Around?

Folk psychology offers many terms for diagnosing frustrating people. Here I want to talk about two: “jerk” and “extremist” because they converge on a characteristic common to them.

The word "jerk" originated in the 1580’s, meaning “to pull with sudden energy.” In 1930’s circus slang it became a term for tedious, ineffectual people, perhaps derived from the steam engine railroad term, “jerkwater,” which meant inefficiently pulling water from a creek or pond for lack of a more efficient source like a water tower.

We think of jerks as yanking us with sudden energy. They jerk us around in ways we find tedious and ineffectual. Jerks demand our attention without making good use of it. They syphon energy off our stream of consciousness, making us wish we could get our minds back for a better purpose.

“Extremist” was coined in the 1840’s for "one who goes to extremes, a supporter of extreme doctrines.”

But what is an extreme doctrine? By the standards of the Middle Ages we’re all extremists today.

We have to be careful with terms that imply fake objectivity when we’re making subjective assessments. For example, what is a pessimist? Someone who expects worse outcomes than you do. It’s fake objectivity to pretend that our expectations are the accurate ones.

So extremist doctrines? Look around the world and you’ll find a broad variety of cultures and doctrines, some of which will seem as extreme to you as yours seems to them. Calling people who think differently from us “extremists” is dubious. It implies that there’s a set point from which extremists diverge. There isn’t one set point. Different cultures have different set points. Everyone’s an extremist by someone’s standard.

Still, I think we can find something useful in the first half of that definition. Extremists are people who go to extremes.

Extremism is easier than rationality in the way that getting up off the floor is easier with a wall to lean on than without one. Without a wall, you have to balance, which takes work. With a wall, you can lean all the way against it.

Extremists are “irrational” in that they don’t have to deal with tradeoffs, the balancing acts required for decency. They don’t have to balance virtues against each other.

Extremists lean on one virtue at a time and claim you can never have too much of it. They’ll change the virtues. To do what they want, they’ll claim that there’s no such thing as too much freedom. Turn freedom up to infinity. To get you to accommodate them, they’ll claim that there’s no such thing as too much kindness. They’ll bounce from one extreme to another. Moment to moment they just lean on whatever excuse they need. They take extreme positions even as the positions keep changing.

As a result, extremists don’t have to bother with measured or proportional responses. They jerk people around with sudden energy, fly off the handle, throw theatrical tantrums.

Some jerks seem to be looking for any excuse for acting offended or outraged. The slightest disappointment or provocation and they’ll declare holy war as though anyone who diverges from their moral absolute is downright evil.

Extremists are drama queens cultivating exaggerated reactions. They hold extreme double standards. When you don’t accommodate them, they’ll scream bloody murder. If they don’t accommodate you, what’s the big deal?

Indeed, that second half of the “extremist” definition is how they exploit the first half. They act like they’re the set point from which any divergence is extreme and deserves an extreme reaction. If you don’t agree with them, they’ll declare you an extremist and jerk you around until you do.

While we can scorn such behavior, it’s worth noticing the practical advantages gained by being an extremist jerk. The world scrambles to accommodate their tantrums. To avoid conflict, people surrender. Getting out of an extremist jerk’s way, the jerks get their way.

Being an extremist jerk is a tempting option for any of us. We all succumb from time to time if we can get away with it. Sometimes we throw tantrums; sometimes we get pedantic and preachy. One can play prudish parent or petulant child to express extreme overreactions.

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If we all succumb from time to time, doesn’t that mean we’re all jerks? Or that no one’s a jerk?

Folk psychology offers two other terms that may help here. “Total” or “absolute” jerks are people who, at least in some contexts (for example with certain people), will rely exclusively on jerk extremism to get their way. Absolute originally meant “dissolved away from,” which in this context would mean immune from influence, incorrigible (uncorrectable). “Total” would, of course, mean relying completely on the jerk extremist disregard for proportionality.

In thinking about the difference between everyday jerkdom and absolute jerkdom, I’ve found it useful to go back to an old quote: Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Jerk extremism only tends to corrupt. It doesn’t always. Sometimes jerk insistence is just what the doctor ordered. But absolute jerk extremism corrupts absolutely.

Absolute jerk extremists often whipsaw between outrage and pride about being accused of being total jerks. One moment it’s, “How dare you insult me! It’s uncivilized, inappropriate, and outrageous to ever call anyone a jerk. Be nice!” And then, often in the same breath, they’ll say, “Yeah, so what? Everyone’s a jerk. I’m just better at it than you are, loser.” They’ll scorn you for failing their moral standards and in the same breath laugh at you for caring about moral standards. They’ll play prude or brat. They don’t care. All that matters to them is that they remain the measure of all merit and overreact by calling “extremist” anyone who diverges from their standard in the moment.

We need to understand the appeal of this absolute jerk extremist alternative to rationality and proportionality if we are to deal with it effectively.