Jerkology

Narcissism

How to Not Be Defensive with Narcissists and Everyone

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on January 31, 2023

To stop feeling and being defensive, stop thinking of behaviors as either good or bad, stop denying that you use them, and shift your attention to when to use them.

To stop feeling and being defensive, stop thinking of behaviors as either good or bad, stop denying that you use them, and shift your attention to when to use them.

Narcissism

Five Tips for Managing Virtue Signaling

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on January 5, 2023

It's therapeutic to sing our own praises with virtue signals. It's also dangerous when it goes to our heads. Here are four ways to virtue-signal safely.

It's therapeutic to sing our own praises with virtue signals. It's also dangerous when it goes to our heads. Here are four ways to virtue-signal safely.

Narcissism

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on December 31, 2022

If you haven't been able to get through to a narcissist, try this different approach.

If you haven't been able to get through to a narcissist, try this different approach.

Narcissism

How to Deal with a Know-It-All

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on December 23, 2022

Here's an alternative to humoring, avoiding or escaping a know-it-all that's respectful, easy, and effective.

Here's an alternative to humoring, avoiding or escaping a know-it-all that's respectful, easy, and effective.

Narcissism

The Narcissist Formula: You Get to Choose How You Lose

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on December 13, 2022

Narcissists use double binds to invite you to play games that they always win. Winning means they never have to look at their own behavior.

Narcissists use double binds to invite you to play games that they always win. Winning means they never have to look at their own behavior.

Gaslighting

How People Shed Their Conscience

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on December 5, 2022

Why is it so easy for people to shed their consciences and become game-players, conniving while acting like saints? The difference between games and life provides a clue.

Why is it so easy for people to shed their consciences and become game-players, conniving while acting like saints? The difference between games and life provides a clue.

Child Development

The Easy, Tempting Steps People Take in Becoming Jerks

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on October 14, 2022

To understand how people become jerks, there are insights gained by drawing parallels to how we learn language.

To understand how people become jerks, there are insights gained by drawing parallels to how we learn language.

Personality

People Who Play God

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on July 27, 2022

Why do absolute jerks take so little responsibility for their behavior? Self-sycophancy may explain it.

Why do absolute jerks take so little responsibility for their behavior? Self-sycophancy may explain it.

Narcissism

What Makes Someone a Jerk?

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on June 29, 2022

It's a worthwhile exercise to get beyond gut intuitions in diagnosing jerks.

It's a worthwhile exercise to get beyond gut intuitions in diagnosing jerks.

Bullying

The Authoritarian Formula

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on June 13, 2022

If you're dealing with an adult bully, stop assuming that they're playing three dimensional chess. Their formula is simple and addictive.

If you're dealing with an adult bully, stop assuming that they're playing three dimensional chess. Their formula is simple and addictive.

Psychopathy

Getting Clinical About the Folk Psychology Term "Jerk"

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on June 8, 2022

If you suspect that you're dealing with a narcissist or psychopath, it may be because we don't have clinical terms for everyday jerks.

If you suspect that you're dealing with a narcissist or psychopath, it may be because we don't have clinical terms for everyday jerks.

Conscientiousness

The Literal Meaning of the Term "Jerk"

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on May 30, 2022

We all need self-love, but get a room or at least watch where you're going in public.

We all need self-love, but get a room or at least watch where you're going in public.

Bullying

This Popular Moral Formula Weakens You

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on May 26, 2022

If you're struggling under the domination of a bully, you may be enabling them by not understanding their moral formula and even using it yourself.

If you're struggling under the domination of a bully, you may be enabling them by not understanding their moral formula and even using it yourself.

Psychopathy

How to Pin Down a Slippery Jerk

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on May 23, 2022

If you feel jerked around by local bullies or global tyrants, you need to understand the way they exploit a dark-triad shell game.

If you feel jerked around by local bullies or global tyrants, you need to understand the way they exploit a dark-triad shell game.

Confidence

Swaggernomics: The Economics of Confidence and Doubt

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on April 28, 2022

Swaggernomics addresses the competition for who gets to swagger like know-it-alls.

Swaggernomics addresses the competition for who gets to swagger like know-it-alls.

Narcissism

The Simple Robotic Formula That All Total Jerks Use

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on April 25, 2022

Understand recursion and you'll have a leg up in dealing with the total jerks in your world.

Understand recursion and you'll have a leg up in dealing with the total jerks in your world.

Psychopathy

How to Prevent High-Conflict Infallibility Battles

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on April 6, 2022

When someone will say anything to prove you're wrong about everything, what can you do to make them pay a price for their indulgence?

When someone will say anything to prove you're wrong about everything, what can you do to make them pay a price for their indulgence?

Gaslighting

Is It Ever Moral to Declare Someone a Total Jerk?

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on January 17, 2022

If you wince at the thought of calling out systematically arrogant people, here are some thoughts on whether it's morally acceptable.

If you wince at the thought of calling out systematically arrogant people, here are some thoughts on whether it's morally acceptable.

Career

How to Get Know-It-Alls Off Their High Horse

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on January 13, 2022

As life gets more complicated and stressful, many are turning to fake-infallibility for self-reassurance. It's our civic duty to block this dangerous form of escapism. Here's how.

As life gets more complicated and stressful, many are turning to fake-infallibility for self-reassurance. It's our civic duty to block this dangerous form of escapism. Here's how.

Narcissism

How to Give Big Egos a Taste of Their Own Medicine

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D., MPP on January 12, 2022

If you think you can't or shouldn't develop a sharp tongue, you put more than yourself at risk.

If you think you can't or shouldn't develop a sharp tongue, you put more than yourself at risk.