Irrelationship

Career

What to Do When Your Partner Won't Work on Your Relationship

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on February 13, 2022

To get unstuck when we are too focused on getting the other person on board, leverage your most intimate and powerful relationship—the one with yourself.

Anxiety

Why Some People Become Emotionally Distant

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on December 15, 2021

Unrecognized influences can lead us away from others when we desire closeness. Here's how to restore connection.

Stress

3 Ways Gift-Giving Can Cause Relationship Stress

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on November 26, 2021

Life naturally gets more meaningful at the end of the year, especially during stressful times. Make sure gift-giving and receiving come from the right places.

Sex

The Sex Test Post-Test

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on January 30, 2017

Irrelationship, the defensive mechanism many couples use when the prospect of true intimacy begins to show itself. It can easily manifest in sex and sexual behavior.

Sex

Can Your Relationship Handle the Sex Test?

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on December 5, 2016

What happens when sex brings us too close to the very things that it's ostensibly supposed to: intimacy, empathy, emotional risk, and investment?

Anxiety

When the Fighting Stops

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on November 22, 2016

Irrelationship is a jointly created state of insanity made visible in the mutual acting-out ‎of the anxiety of being vulnerable, intimate, empathetic and invested in one another.

Relationships

Healthy Dependency

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on October 31, 2016

Dependency is a bad word in our culture. We cling to our fears of empathy, intimacy, emotional risk and investment and label anything that smells of dependency an illness.

Relationships

When the Perks of Love Interfere With Love

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on October 17, 2016

It is sometimes the case that the gifts of love become more important (and are certainly more safe from the risks and anxieties of love) than love itself.

Relationships

Business Connections Complicated by Irrelationship

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on August 30, 2016

Everyone knows that "history" causes problems in romantic relationships. It's equally true in business relationships, as this case so pointedly illustrates.

Relationships

Desperately Seeking a False Sense of Security

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on August 22, 2016

It is the awareness of the most mundane threats to our hearts that irrelationship most effectively protects us from—how emotionally close we are to those in our everyday lives.

Mating

"Same Head Every Day"

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on August 16, 2016

Brainlock is our way of describing the neurological/physiological-meets-individual/social/contextual factors that underlie and sustain irrelationship.

Personality

Your Relationship’s Personality

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on August 1, 2016

What is a relationship's personality, and how does it protect itself? Defect and defense can be seen as interchangeable terms—both pinpointing the existence of irrelationship.

Self-Control

Want To Save Yourself Years Of Heartache?

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on July 25, 2016

Dysregulated relationships have a hard time surviving the transition from the passion of the honeymoon period into a mature, profound, and sustainable commitment to reciprocity.

Sex

Sex as Relationship Builder or Deal Breaker

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on June 30, 2016

Sex can be used to build intimacy. But when a relationship is in trouble, sex can be used just as easily to maintain distance. In that case, sex stops being about sex.

Altruism

The Power of Giving - in Action

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on June 6, 2016

There is nothing so valuable as having what we offer to others taken, made use of, and experienced as having value and being useful and helpful. Irrelationship blocks this.

Career

What If Only I Am Ready/Willing To Work On Our Relationship?

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on June 1, 2016

When bottoming-out in irrelationship, it can be a painful moment fraught with terrifying insights into how wrong so much of what previously felt right about the relationship is.

Relationships

Learning to Relate

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on May 26, 2016

Learning how to relate is extremely complex—more so when, very early in life, a child’s parents aren’t effective caregivers.

Relationships

How Can Your Relationship Survive True Intimacy?

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on May 9, 2016

What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks.

Career

How We Can Be Empowered Through Conflict

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on April 26, 2016

When we assume that conflict in a work situation means there's a problem, we create a problem by losing an opportunity for learning and growth. Here's how to do communication well.

Career

'I’m Married to My Work'

Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA on April 18, 2016

If we think of intimacy as taking a chance on letting ourselves become known and accepted as we really are, “intimacy” can apply to relationships that develop in the work place.