Invisible Chains

Exploring the ties that bind us

Lisa Aronson Fontes Ph.D.

Should I Start a New Relationship After Domestic Violence?

Staying at home during the pandemic can be lonely. If you are considering entering a new relationship, ask yourself some questions first to see if it will be safe and healthy.

Not Falling for That! Resisting Control Disguised as Love

"Loving" acts in an abusive relationship function as bait. Be cautious, like an animal in the forest. You do not need to eat from that trap.

Workplace Coercive Control: More than a “Bad Boss”

If you feel isolated, dominated, and humiliated at work, you may be suffering from workplace coercive control.

Working with Amish Families on Child Abuse and Neglect

Amish children may face special child abuse risks. These suggestions can keep children and families safe and strong.

Are the Kids Really Alright after Domestic Violence?

After domestic violence, parents can assess their children and teens for trauma symptoms, and provide them with the calm and safety they need to recover.

Lasting Trauma of Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting (FGM/C)

FGM traumatizes women psychologically, physically, and sexually. Committed Kenyans are working to change norms around FGM and promote recovery in girls, women, and communities.

How Domestic Abusers Groom and Isolate Their Victims

Abusers often hide their intentions with of romance. All that "loving" attention feels great—until it doesn't.

Pushing Sex: Intimate Partner Sexual Violence

Intimate Partner Sexual Violence (IPSV) leaps into the news with accusations against Eric Schneiderman, New York State's disgraced Attorney General.

Professionals Leave but the Abuse and Control Continue

After a domestic violence victim has divorced or separated from an abuser, professionals and family often assume the abuse is "over." However, the intimidation may go on for years.

Immigrant Muslim Couples and Domestic Violence

Non-Muslims are often uncertain how to help Muslim victims of intimate partner violence. Parveen Ali, Ph.D., advocates for greater understanding and activism to keep women safe.

Keeping Refugee Children and Teens Safe

Even as we cheer for George and Amal Clooney's commitment to schools for Syrian refugee children in Lebanon, let's remember the mental health needs of refugee children everywhere.

Helping Refugee Children Cope

Ugandan psychologist Hugo Kamya tells how to support refugee children in our schools and communities.

Translating Trauma: Foreign Language Interpreting in Therapy

Language is an essential part of cultural competence. Therapy with a foreign language interpreter can be awkward but help is available. Beverley Costa PhD offers tips.

Controlling Your Partner Is Illegal, But Not in the U.S.

Domestic violence victims in the U.S. have less protection than in some other countries. Laws in England now make controlling a partner illegal.

6 reasons young victims cannot recognize sexual assault

Donald Trump and Alec Cook obligate us to face forced kissing as on the spectrum of sexual attacks

Tune Up Your Therapy with Healing Song and Support

Feeling stuck or shy and lacking joy? Singing in a supportive group can help bring your groove back.

“She Has No Money; She’ll Come Crawling Back.” NOT!

Financial control increases abusers' power over a partner. Innovative approaches offer survivors steps toward financial independence so they can take back their lives.

When a Relationship Makes You Sick

Victims of coercive control frequently experience medical problems, including heart trouble, non-specific head, back, and stomach pain, and difficulty sleeping and eating.

LGBT Baby Boomer Sex: The Good, the Bad and the Loving

From the Summer of Love to Stonewall—baby boomers made their mark on sex. What do boomers in same sex relationships have to teach us about sexual satisfaction as we age?

The Prenup Trap: Premarital Agreements and Coercive Control

Swept away by romance & pressure from their betrothed, people sign prenups without realizing how these can be traps. Prenups can contribute to abusive control in a couple.

This Is What a Controlling Relationship Is Really Like

Disappearing into your relationship? Perspecticide is one way controlling people force their viewpoints onto their partners.

Recovery After a Controlling Relationship

Recovering from an abusive and controlling relationship is difficult. Here are some tips to ease the process.

Building Resilience After Trauma: Lessons from Chile

Don’t go it alone. Create order out of the chaos. Nurture hope. Commit for the long-term because recovery takes time. And reclaim your dignity through helping others. Wise advice whatever the trauma, wherever one lives.

Stealth Abuse of College Women: Coercive Control on Campus

While sexual assaults on college campuses are making the headlines, some of the most common dangers college women face are less visible: the verbal and psychological abuse, stalking, and sexual coercion that comprise a form of abuse called coercive control.

8 Ways Controlling Men Make Mothering Even Harder

Being a mother is the most important and difficult job one can have — and a controlling or abusive partner makes it so much harder.

Divorce Your (Bad) Mother: How to Love Her and Still Be Free

"The daily beatings stopped when I left home at nineteen, but the psychological abuse and manipulations were never-ending. I chose to love her from a distance and heal myself." Magdalena Gómez.

Micromanaging Every Move: Inside a Controlling Relationship

Coercive control is not about one partner simply being “bossy” or “a nag." It’s about domination.

Is Your Partner Too Controlling?

Are you feeling controlled by your partner? Assess your relationship.

When Relationship Abuse Is Hard to Recognize

Coercive control needs to be named and recognized so we can begin to address it.