When Does Explaining Cross the Line Into "Mansplaining"?

"Don't confuse your Google search with my master's degree," I fired back, echoing a popular meme in a moment of frustration-fueled pettiness. I was in the middle of a heated discussion with an extended family member over the holiday weekend and was struggling to handle the patronizing tone and words that were being directed at me.

As I attempted to explain my reasoning about a mental health-related topic (after reminding him yet again that I am a licensed mental health professional), I was continually interrupted and told that my "perspective" was wrong.

Mansplaining is more than just explaining

Mansplaining refers to the condescending or patronizing explanation of something, typically by a man to a woman, in a manner that assumes she knows less or is incapable of understanding the subject. It often occurs in situations where the woman is already knowledgeable or an expert, but the man dismisses her expertise, assuming she needs his unsolicited guidance or clarification. Despite my clinical experience and expertise on the subject, this older male continued to explain to me how my statements were "a matter of perspective," no matter how much I presented him with evidence to the contrary.

Source: Darwin Laganzon/Pixabay

Experiences of being talked down to are common for those whose identities are marginalized

Stereotypes that women are less competent lead many women's contributions to be dismissed or overlooked (Hebl et al., 2008; Sandberg & Grant, 2015). Many women have experienced disrespectful behaviors such as being frequently interrupted or talked over, told that we are wrong, or being told the "correct" way to do or understand something that we actually know well. This experience highlights a gendered power dynamic that many of us have experienced, where a man presumes authority or superiority based on the woman's gender, rather than her actual level of understanding.

Is mansplaining always done intentionally?

I do not believe that mansplaining is always intentional. While it can sometimes be deliberate, it often stems from unconscious biases and ingrained societal norms about gender roles and power dynamics (Fokkema & Pollmann, 2024). In some cases, the person engaging in mansplaining may not be aware that they are being condescending or dismissive. They may assume they know more, feel the need to assert their authority, or overlook the woman's knowledge or experience, all without ill intent. And at first, I gave this older male the benefit of the doubt, willing to assume that perhaps he was unaware of how he was coming across. However, this willingness to dismiss inappropriate behavior by men is something that many of us women can relate to—it reinforces power dynamics that many of us are socialized with. The very act of me excusing his inappropriate behavior was representative of the sexism we all grew up with.

Is mansplaining always done by men towards women?

Research says no (Fokkema & Pollmann, 2024). While the term has been coined to refer to men's condescending behavior towards women, research shows that this type of behavior can happen to any gender, by any gender. This is because it is about the social power behind the speaker, as well as the interpretation of that person's social power by the listener (Fokkema & Pollmann, 2024).

The difference between explaining and "mansplaining" primarily lies in the context, power dynamics, and intent. Although there are certainly situations where another person knows more about a given topic than another, regardless of gender or social position, how they go about explaining these things depends a lot on how the other person receives and interprets the interaction (Fokkema & Pollmann, 2024).

For women of color, queer or trans women, and disabled women, these experiences can be even worse due to their identities already being marginalized. As an autistic, queer woman, I have had more than enough of these experiences of being talked down to by someone with more social power. But, as a middle-class white woman, perhaps I have unintentionally displayed similar behaviors in my interactions with others with less social power. This is why it is essential for those of us with privilege to be doing the work to make sure we minimize these instances where our privilege can be used to reinforce marginalized voices. Had this man taken a moment to self-reflect, perhaps he could have understood how his behaviors and words were harmful. But he chose not to, missing out on a chance to rebuild the connection.

So, what's the difference between explaining and "mansplaining"?

In essence, mansplaining is a form of explaining that is tinged with gender bias and often reflects an imbalance of power and a desire to "show" or reinforce this power. In contrast, simply explaining is a neutral, informative interaction. In the case of my experience, his attempt to explain to me was filled with a condescending, patronizing tone, along with a stubborn unwillingness to recognize my expertise on this particular topic.

Mansplaining refers specifically to a situation where a man explains something to a woman, often in a condescending, patronizing, or dismissive manner, under the assumption that she doesn't understand or lacks knowledge—regardless of whether or not she actually does. It's rooted in a history of gender inequality and reflects the broader power dynamic where men, historically and socially, are assumed to have more authority or expertise. Mansplaining involves both an unnecessary explanation and the assumption of superiority or authority, typically in a way that disregards the woman's perspective or expertise.

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