What I offer in this post are some tips for that non-ADD partner. Some interventions which might take a bit of the burden off your shoulders, allowing you to step back and breathe and notice what you really like about your partner with ADD/ADHD.
In the past several weeks I've received inquiries from two high school students, both preparing reports on the theme of procrastination. Here are the students' really good questions, along with my responses.
Time is not a "real thing" but rather an abstraction we use to describe the executive tasks of planning and sequencing as well as the felt experience of various units of time. What does time "feel like"?
If you ask your family member with ADHD, in advance, with specific behavioral criteria, does it guarantee that you will get what you want? Nope. But it increases the likelihood, and it gives your partner a chance, a fighting chance, to “just barely meet threshold.”
Our brains are wired for goal-visualization and sequencing and “stick-to-it-iveness.” But it’s not easy, and we’re surrounded by seductive distractions. So if you really want to support a student or family member with goal-managment challenges, do this.
The real problem with procrastination is that it can - if we let it - keep us from doing the "One Thing." That one decision or choice which, if we followed through, would make the biggest difference in our lives right now.