People Who Can't Control Themselves Control The People Around Them Part 2
Where does healthy interdependence fit in?
Posted May 27, 2011
"Ideas to Ponder" from Intimacy & Desire
Tampering with your partner
"Co-regulation" advocates say partners in good relationships only regulate their mate for his or her benefit. True, but these aren't the couples seeking treatment. People who need "co-regulation" depend on getting a positive reflected sense of self and emotional soothing from others. These people are most likely to regulate their partner for their own personal needs. The more you get your partner to give you the reflected sense of self and emotional soothing you need, the worse things get.
People who can't control themselves control the people around them
- One of the kindest things you can do for the people you love is develop more emotional autonomy.
- Managing your own emotions, feelings, and anxieties gives other people back their lives.