Intimacy and Desire

Do You Want Your Partner To Stroke Your Ego Or Your Genitals?

Want your partner to accept, validate and emotionally support you? Want hot sex too? In long-term committed relationships you're not likely to keep getting both. So what will it be? Have your partner inflate your ego, soothe your childhood wounds, or rub your erogenous zones? It's human nature to lose sexual desire for someone you have to constantly prop up.

Decoding The Logic of Sexual Relationships

Sex is part of the "people growing machinery" of emotionally committed relationships. Sexual boredom and squabbles about sexual repertoire are normal, inevitable and potentially healthy developments that push us to grow into mature adults capable of durable love and hot sex.

People Have Sex Within The Limits of Their Development

People have sex up to the limits of their sexual development. The solution to sexual boredom involves stepping outside your familiar repertoire and creating novelty. This raises your anxiety, challenges your identity, and shakes up your relationship.

People Who Can't Control Themselves Control The People Around Them Part 2

Interdependence as a concept has been around for years, but it is badly misunderstood. This is why people talking the most about it are usually unable to do it. The problem isn't that they have difficulty putting their ideals into practice (but which is often true). The problem is their idea of interdependence is systematically wrong.

When Experts Who Want To Be Rich and Famous Stray

A brief review of my and Dr. Goulston’s posts reveals some interesting similarities. But my real and overriding concern lies in portions of Dr. Goulston’s article that are unquestionably his own authorship: creating an imaginary “secondary Asperger’s syndrome” and promoting it to the public as if it really exists.

Why Rich and Powerful People Cheat: Part 2

Rich and powerful people cheat because they are just like everyone else, with flaws, blind spots, and lapses in judgment. One major factor is common dependence on getting a positive reflected sense of self from the people around us, the clothes we wear, the house we live in, and the car we drive. We light up when someone finds us attractive.

Normal Healthy Couples Have Sexual Desire Problems

If you are having sexual desire problems, and there's a very good chance you are, do you feel inadequate, ashamed or embarrassed, in addition to feeling deprived, frustrated, or royally pissed-off? Even if you don't have sexual desire problems now, you can imagine how people feel. You know how you would feel, and you're normal, aren't you?

Hey Mom! I Love You!

When you’re an author, you write with an audience in mind. I’ve written for couples, singles, gays, straights, therapists, physicians, nurses, students, teachers, and parents. But not once, in any conscious and deliberate fashion, have I written for my mother.

Watching The Best in Tiger Stand Up