Stress
Manage Holiday Stress or Blues With the Gift of Self-Care
Four strategies for thriving, not just surviving, during the holidays.
Updated November 3, 2024 Reviewed by Margaret Foley
Key points
- Many people approach the holidays with a mixture of anticipation and dread.
- Granting oneself time and space to process feelings of joy as well as grief is important for well-being.
- Strategies include checking in with loved ones, sticking to a healthy routine, and monitoring self-talk.

The holidays are upon us, and bloggers and helping professionals are starting to trot out their strained and mixed metaphors to describe the stresses many are experiencing (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). Here’s my contribution: Traditions, expectations, pressures, and the commemoration of those no longer physically present can mix in an emotional blender, producing a holiday brew from which many of us drink deeply on an annual basis. Try these four strategies to reduce the stresses associated with the season.
1) Check in with trusted friends and family. Improving our social connections is so important that it has become a public health priority (American Psychological Association, 2023). Express your feelings with folks who implicitly and explicitly “get” you. Choose well, avoid gossip, and do not engage in hurtful conversations. Instead, approach each dialogue with gratitude and appreciation.
2) Check in with yourself. It’s also good to have time to yourself. Write in a journal, take a few moments to meditate and/or pray, and get grounded or centered via deep breathing or a quick break from all the things you feel “must be done” by sitting and listening to music. Some folks who enjoy exercise (it’s OK, I’m one of them) can arrange their schedules to get out for a brisk walk or a quick workout just to have some protected alone time.
3) Try to maintain a healthy routine. Sure, you have a lot on your plate, especially if you’re hosting, but consuming a well-balanced diet and drinks low in calories (and not too high in caffeine, such as green or matcha tea) can help keep blood sugar steady and avoid seesawing between energy highs and lows. Try to go to bed within an hour or two of your usual time, and resist the urge to death-scroll on a device before sleep, as it can make rest elusive. Hosting a meal? Delegate specific tasks to others so that you do not have to "do it all."
4) Monitor and edit the negative self-talk. Because negative self-talk can carry very negative effects, such as anxiety and depression (Greenberger & Padesky, 2020), try to catch when you are sending yourself negative messages and switch it up. For instance, you might notice your mumbling to yourself, “My end-of-the-year paperwork, grades, etc., are never going to be submitted,” or “I suck at baking cookies,” but you can change those messages to: “It may feel like I am not keeping up right now, but it’s going to get done if I set aside 30 minutes each day to work on it,” or “I used to leave the cookies in the oven too long, and now they’re edible, even delicious!” Give yourself a break, and try not to denigrate yourself. Instead of being your worst critic, you can be your own best friend and advocate.
In sum, make time for yourself so you do not get too overwhelmed, and use “me time” to process feelings about the season that are more complex. I am regularly on podcasts to talk about stress in the holiday season. Last year, out of the blue, a host asked me about grief, and I discussed the first time I entered my parents’ home during the holidays after my father had passed, and how three family members expressed their mourning over that tough loss in very different ways. You might be feeling great joy and a profound sadness simultaneously this year. Give yourself the gift of time to feel, to relax, and to be fully present. You’ll be glad you did.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). As holiday season begins, America’s stress rises. Retrieved at https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/as-holiday-season-begins-americas-stress-rises
American Psychological Association. (2023). Improving social connection is a public health priority. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/05/improving-social-connection
Greenberger, D., & Padesky, C. A. (2020). Mind over mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think. Guilford Press.