Have Yourself a Mellow Little Holiday: Embracing Simplicity

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Thoughts of a “normal holiday” after the last 20 months are so seductive and appealing. Folks feel they’ve earned a spectacular one with all the frills. But it might be best to go with simplicity and self-care this month.

People often feel enormous pressure to make holidays something amazing and memorable. They feel guilty if they don’t host, and cook, and wrap presents, and clean up the whole mess immediately afterward. They feel like they’ve failed if it’s not “perfect” in honoring every tradition that came before, or if everyone’s not happy. Stress and depression are known to spike for a lot of people around the holidays. So, I’m here to tell you that this year, it’s okay if your winter break is simple. Ordinary. Relaxing and easy. You don’t have to do it all, for everyone else. You can just be. Here are four tips for keeping your holiday healthy and wise.

Tip 1: Downsize to smaller, selective get-togethers.

Choose to spend time with people who appreciate you and who don’t amp up your pressure to perform. And it’s okay to prefer to spend time with folks who are vaccinated with two, or three, shots. Winter break is much more relaxing when you’re not worrying about becoming seriously ill.

Further, you have permission to do just half of the holiday traditions, if: 1) you’re exhausted, or 2) feeling under the weather, or 3) members of the immediate or extended family are not well, or unvaccinated, or refuse to wear masks. Let them have the holiday over there, and you have yours over here. Two of my friends this week are taking COVID tests because they were in contact with someone who tested positive for coronavirus. Yes, they were in spaces where masks were not being worn, and it is an airborne virus. So, their worry is not exaggerated or a case for hypochondriasis. Let's do our darnedest to keep our loved ones safe.

Tip 2: Try to avoid food and drink comas.

If you don’t stuff yourself silly the last two weeks of the year, or do one too many editions of the “Egg Nog challenge” (don’t ask, I was but a young man, then), you’ll have less metabolic stress and fewer New Year’s resolutions to declare. Also, don’t think you need to count calories and then burn them off in special holiday sessions at the gym or at home. That’s a tyranny of numbers. Eating sensibly and drinking responsibly means you don’t have to do much more than movement or a regular workout routine and you’ll be just fine.

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Tip 3: Engage in conscious, intentional self-care.

Winter break is meant for downtime, and how can you relax and recreate if you’re “on” the whole time? The first task is to remember the things that re-energize and rejuvenate you; The second task is to set aside (and protect) the time to actually do those activities (see a post on self-care here). It might be bird watching, taking a hike in a conservation area, playing a musical instrument, or simply getting to one of the books on the list that you never got to this year, and reading the whole thing over several days when you have a few days off from work. Consider these activities a gift to yourself in a season of giving.

Tip 4: Seek community, even virtually.

If you feel separate and alone, seek out community via religious or social events, many of which are available online. Consider reaching out and speaking to a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while. It could be by text, or FaceTime, or Zoom. You could also volunteer your time. The point is that being with others in a meaningful way can reduce feelings of alienation and loneliness.

In sum, it’s okay to have a chill holiday or winter break this year, because after what we’ve all been through, it’s safe to say, we’ve earned it.