Reforming the Nail-Biter

I think kissing your fingers is an interesting technique and probably a very good one for a young child. I'm noticing that I feel resistant to doing it for myself. I have been biting my nails since I stopped sucking my thumb way back when, so for about 45+ years.

I haven't really bothered trying to stop very often as it doesn't seem a high priority of mine. I don't bite them too badly, however I sometimes do rip my skin until it is very red and that does bother me. I would like to stop nail biting at some point. And I do know what will help me do it as I've had the experience of not biting my nails for about 3 weeks- twice- without trying to not bite them!

The first time was at an Ayurvedic healing/cooking retreat. We were set up to eat in silence, seated on the floor, 3 times a day. I decided to take this very seriously and began to eat very consciously and slowly and to feel the food land in my belly after chewing it very thoroughly, and putting my full attention on the chewing. I was even eating with my eyes closed. It was a very relaxing experience. I have a history of binge eating and was an exercise bulimic through my teens and twenties. So, the nail biting has always seemed related to managing low level anxiety.

By the end of the 10 days of this retreat, I was eating much much less and being satiated much much longer. It was fascinating. And when I left that environment, which was in the Blue Ridge Mountains near Asheville, North Carolina, I found myself not interested in biting my nails for at least 3 weeks! It was incredible! And I wasn't sure why. I wondered if it was the healthy food we ate, the cleansing and ayurvedic treatments I had done before going on the retreat etc...

That was about 6 to 7 years ago. Then last year I was reading a whole book about the benefits of eating slowly by an eating psychologist, The Slow Down Diet. Marc David explains really well why eating slowly can help you lose weight and it made total sense to me as I had experienced it at the retreat as I didn't need to eat more. So, I decided to try it again and managed to do it for about a week, almost all of my meals. I have to say it is very challenging to do,for me. I will take a lot of time preparing my food, but eating it slowly while doing nothing else is very challenging. It definitely brings up a lot of feeling that I am not able to manage without rushing through the food or doing another activity at the same time. But the inspiration of the book got my momentum going and sure enough I managed to pull it off for about a week.

And lo and behold, the desire to bite my nails completely went away for about 3 weeks! I could not believe it! So, based on Marc David's book, what I understood from this is that because I was digesting my food better, from eating slowly, which he totally explains scientifically, I was getting minerals, calcium, i'm guessing, that I normally don't get from the way I eat my food. So, when i don't get those minerals, I crave them and get some of them from biting my nails. A naturopath once told me that it was a mineral deficiency that was behind nail biting.

I think that is one part of the story. The other part is the underlying anxiety. The fact that it is so hard to sit with myself and eat and chew slowly and just be with myself is a clue. And I use food the way I use nail biting to take the edge off of my low level anxiety. I do feel I could initiate sitting with the feelings more and not indulging my nail biting. But I would have to really commit to that and then I might even consider kissing my fingers!

Thank you for writing about this issue as I've never read anything about it, though there probably is more out there. I appreciate your interest in this and I'm considering taking it more seriously and going to my next level of growth by addressing it in myself.

Oops, I went back and read the blog. My bad. I will try what Dr. Lamia suggests and, if it works, I'll post again.

I was intrigued by the article and the comment by Michelle as well, as it did follow the usual article of platitudes and bitter nail varnishand wrist band snapping. As a 45 year female I have bitten my nails ever since I was a young child. Although my mother tried to paint my nails from time to time, apart form the occaisonal nagging they just let me get on with nibbling. Except, my nibbling turned to picking, and even a pair of nail clippers to asssist with taking off more nail and the roughened skin around the nail. Now most of my nails are down to the top of the nail bed at the cuticle, so quite badly bitten...lets put it this way, I've never seen any ones nails as bad as mine, yet when I see bitten nails, it does repulse me, but yet not my own. Probably anxiety and boredom are nice 'fluffy' reasons while I bite. I've found I typically attack my nails and skin with a cutter blade when I'm on the phone and not working on my computer. However the reality is I enjoy the taste and texture of chewin my nails. I love chocolate and I'd put nails up there. They are yum, and I enjoy grindingthe pieces up between my teeth. I would love to have long beautiful nails, even normal short nails would be great, butif I could manage growing them to that length, I could still imagine myself savouring the clippings just because I enjoy eating them. As a child I used to even pick my toesnails to chew on the nail pieces. Although I no longer do this, I do have very short toes nails as I clip them with a nailclipper and enjoy eating them. If I need a nail fix and my fingernails won't yeild the nail I need, then I'd typically go and clip my toes to satisy my craving.

So what do you do for someone who actually enjoys chewing nails and who needs to keep here nails free of all lumps bumps and ridges by chewing or picking them away? My daughter now nags me constantly, and my husband never makes a comment. I've always wondered what would happen if someone told me grow your nails and I'll give you a lovely ring to wear. That would possibly be the only incentive to make me give up. I did give up several times for 2-3 months each time. The ways I did it were to measure and chart fingernail growth weekly, and continuously paint them with a clear nail conditioner varnish which I could pick off and repaint as much as I wanted. I also kept a constant supply of chewing gum with me to chew on as nail pieces get rapidly lost in chewing gum so there is not textural satisfaction in biting nails while chewing gum. The food that I relate most closely to chewing finger nails is eating fresh coconut flesh, with the chewy fiberous texture.

I have adopted many behaviour traits to cover up my fingers. When in company my hands will be interwoven so you can see my fingers but the nails are hidden. When hodling a wine glass, my fingers will be wrapped around the stem rather than holding the goblet where everyone can see your fingers. When my hands must rest on a table, my hands are curled into fists so my nails don't show. I always check out other peoples fingernails to see if they bite or not. Do non-biting people do the same? I admire a beautiful manicure and would love to have gorgeous nails. I've tried glueons and acrylics, but usually found they weaken my nails so that when they come off, my nails get bitten down to towards the cuticle even further than before the application. I've never had a lot of disposible income but I've always wondered if I invested in a weekly manicure, if that might help to make me keep my nails intact and grow them. I once met a man in a mall who suggested to keep my nails well filed, especially on the surface so there were no rough bits to pick or grab wiht my teeth. I do accept that there is a perfectionist aspect of my nail biting where I don't like to have scraggy rough bits and will work on them for several days until they have grown enough to remove.

So how to give up permanently? Although I want to have nice nails, I would miss eating my nails, the same as if you were to tell me I could never eat chocolate again in my life. I know I can give up for a short period, but not sure I could give up forever. I'd love a pill or a quick fix to make my nail biting desire to go away. I've always though that it might be a lack of seratonin receptor or a brain hormane that is deficient. Why do I need to bite at irregularintervals, when there is no obvious trigger and how do I cope without eating them at other times. I do notice I enjoy a nibble each night in front of the telly, but when my daughter tells me to stop, it makes me feel grouchy and want to finish off chewing the bits I'm currently working on. I will run my lips over my nailbed trying to find rough edges to chew. I know with the nails being so badly bitten, that at 1 mm perweek, I have around 4 months to get my nails down to the end of my fingers, so not quite a quick fix for me. I have never managed to sustain not chewing my nails for longer than 3 months.

Unless there was some input beyond my own, I cannot see how I could sustain a no nail biting scenario long term or permanently. I do believe for me it is past a habit, and OCD is most likely a strong contributor. In the end I'm not sure I really want to give up, otherwise I would expect I would make a bigger effort. So in conclusion I assume I enjoy eating my nails more than I desire growing my nails, and I am at a loss to know how to change this.

Any comments or advice would be welcome. thanks

I found this article because I am sick to death of biting my fingernails, and had hoped for some helpful advice. However, kissing my fingers good night is most definitely NOT a viable solution in my case! I am a 58-year-old woman who has chewed her nails to varying severe degrees since I was two years old. I have only been able to stop once on my own, and that was on discovering the rubber band snap on the wrist aversion therapy. It lasted about 3 months—truly a miracle at the time. Now, that method no longer works with me—I ignore the snap/pain just as long ago I ignored the bad tasting dips, etc. I was able to stop on two other occasions, both times for as long as 6-8 weeks. One was while trekking for 8 hours a day over 6 weeks in Nepal (too physically exhausted to gnaw?) and the other was while recovering from spine surgery, on morphine (which I couldn't wait to be rid of, but, once I stopped taking the morphine, the nailbiting began again!).

I've tried to figure out "why" I do this by paying attention to "when" it happens. I think I started, at age 2, because of my very nervous and stressed-out young mom who probably found that having a baby and a toddler while caring for her stroke-stricken father to be somewhat overwhelming, and that transferred to me when she attempted to trim my nails with her typical impatience. I recall thinking I was "helping" her by chewing the nails that she wouldn't then have to bother with! But at my age now, that's hardly an excuse. I know I chew away when bored and, while reading without necessarily being conscious of what I'm doing. Another revealing time though, is, when I feel a type of "road rage" while driving! I seem to momentarily "rage" at a rude/bad driver and then immediately bring hand to mouth and start chewing away. Inward-facing hostility anyone?

As badly as I would like to stop this despicable habit, there's still a part of me that feels a certain satisfaction if I am able to tear a hangnail off without drawing blood. That seems to be the object of this game my damaged mind is playing. Yet, I know on an intellectual level that a second's worth of pleasure means days, if not weeks and months, and years of pain, unsightly and embarrassing hands (which otherwise could have been so beautiful, with the long thin piano hands I have) and ongoing lifelong loss of self esteem.

Oddly, the men in my life have never seemed to mind. My friends don't seem to mind, or even comment. Then again, I rarely chew my nails in front of others—they only see the consequences, and, they seem to shrug it off, though strangers might take a second glance at this obvious flaw. My nails are thin and weak, and easily peel, and I often chew them down to the cuticles. Inside, I agonize constantly over this (though otherwise, I am known as quite rational, even-tempered, easy-going, and not at all nervous) and have become an expert on enduring self-inflicted pain, yet, cannot find a way to stop. Perhaps now, at this ripe old age, it's impossible.

I have heard that this propensity might have to do with serotonin imbalances in the brain, and, that anti-depressant drugs might help. I have never tried that route though, and, it sounds like the jury's still out on that one anyway. The prospect of taking drugs beyond a short-term necessity does not appeal. But I do suspect this is more than just a "habit" that may actually have some more biological roots in brain function, as opposed to simply psychological. It's just not a high priority for researchers apparently, though the damage to a nailbiter, psychologically, is far more vast than one—especially non-biters—would ever guess in my opinion. Still, it's not life-threatening anorexia/bulimia, so, what the heck?!

It's nice that you, Dr. Lamia, are at least thinking about this subject. But I doubt very much that talking to my named fingers and giving them kisses is going to prevent this lifelong private hell. Believe me, even without names and kisses, I know my finger "friends" very well as it is now. At least I was able to keep my daughter from ever starting with this clear evidence of the consequences...

I came to this article through a link my wife sent me, when she asked for help to stop biting her nails. What a sweet way to show her that I love her, by making friends of her fingers and giving each one some loving attention and then a kiss every day.

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Hello Fellow Nail Biters!

I have also been a lifelong nail biter and have found it helpful to see it as a process to be worked with rather than a problem to be solved. My nail biting is definitely a barometer of my stress/anxiety levels and how well I am managing them and it is also clear to me that it is a part of my inner critic/being hard on myself as well as a way to "wake myself up" when I am numbing or spacing out emotionally. I manage my nail biting by doing a lot of filing and by polishing my nails. Like others here I find that any roughness tends to trigger me to bite more (nails and cuticles and skin).

Sixteen years ago I embarked on a professions that involves looking at people's hands and fingerprints for personality characteristics, processes, motivations and for a long time have wanted to do research on hand shape, lines, and fingerprints and nail biting. I noticed very quickly (from looking at 1,000+ people's hands per year) that the prevalence of nail biting drops significantly between children and adults. And here I am an adult nail biter...how come the habit did not melt away with age for me?

From my own hands I now understand the motivators for the habit of nail biting and for many years I've wanted to do research to see if others have similar hand and fingerprint characteristics.

If you are a biter (or know others who are) and would like to submit prints of your hands and fingerprints to participate in my study I'd very much appreciate it! And I can offer you a basic analysis of your fingerprints and some information about yourself in return and would love to do so!

Also, if you have any ideas where I might find other "biters like us" I'd appreciate any leads!

Just write to me via email: ronelle(at)lifepurposenow.com.

Sending all my nail biter soul sisters and brothers the BEST!

I have been biting my nails since I can remember. I developed tricks to keep from showing my nails in public. I used to always put my hands in my pockets or crossed my arms so no one would notice. Later, as I got more mature, I began putting band-aids on my fingertips (one or two) to remind myself not to bite but still didn't work. My girlfriend used to tease me and laugh at my fingernails. After all the public shaming I could take I went on a Dr. Oz 30 day soda challenge and after that I credit Dr. Oz for breaking my habit. I haven't drank a soda in 4 years (May 15th 2011) and I have had nice nails off and on but more on for the last year. I think stress brings on the urge to bite but also my high intake of sugars (which I have cut down drastically). I'm not saying I'm cured 100% because I still fight the urge but I tell myself that I can do it! I trim my nails every Sunday and actually look forward to it. If you have tried everything, give up sugars and see how you do.

I have been a chronic nail biter since before I could remember. I also sucked my thumb till I was about 6 years old. I tried quitting throughout the years - mainly using the bitter tasting stuff painted on my nails. I actually got used to the taste. Strangely, I quit biting my nails both times I was pregnant - but started to bite again after my two kids were born. One thing that helped was to put polish on my nails. I found that if I had something that made my nails smooth and harder (didn't make them soft if I nibbled on them) then it was a cue that kept me from getting lost in my nibbling and biting down to remove a bit of nail. I have no idea really why I would bite - maybe nerves, maybe boredom, maybe for satisfying some craving in my brain? I decided a year ago to stop biting and have been successful after 51 years of being a nail biter. I have to keep them manicured and with some polish on them though. I still find without polish they get soft and start to fray which makes me want to get them smooth by picking or nibbling on them. Hope this helps give you an adult perspective or those who can't quit - some idea of what worked for me.

So here's my story..
At this moment I am a second year student nurse and I am what they call a text book 'chronic nail biter'. When I was younger I used to have quite a few habits which thankfully have been abolished over the years. One of them would be sucking my thumb (both of them) this has lead to my thumbs becoming slightly deformend.. It's not obvious so it's ok! I don't even remember when my nail biting started, my parents had a very rocky relationship. This has lead to myself being very anxious, low self esteem and stressful person. Nail biting has always been my type of escape, I think any way!
I have attempted all sorts getting embarrassing nail manicures which I have always hated the look on their face & others as I always feel I have to justify myself for the reasoning why I am in there with nails the way they are.
I have tried nail biting solutions, but eventually I enjoyed the taste well I just put up with it to get the nail biting satisfaction. I don't even know when I am biting my nails, I try but it's like I go into pilot mode and snap out of it as soon as I have bitten!

I get a streak of guilt that overwhelms me as soon as I do bite, as I try sooooo hard. I have tried the elastic band therapy where you twang the band when you feel the urge but because I only notice after I have bitten I twang afterwards. So that method did not work!

The one method that seemed to work was when I would paint my nails and scratch the nail varnish off this worked but, that was starting to become a habit!

The manicures had to stop for infection control reasons while I am a student. I don't bite my nails while I am in practice, also I can't wear nail varnish because of infraction control. I feel like I have no alternative to help me stop.

I have ran out of suggestions!

I love it :) My ten fingers are my 10 friends! I'd never think about it in this way... Today is the last day of biting my nails - wish me luck!

I am 70 and I have been biting my nails all my life. I stop many times but would go back and bite again, I tried all the above stuff. I had them long a couple of times but went back to biting. my thumb nail would spilt right down the middle and I was never able to stop it. It grew that way. I have no nails at all.