There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may short-change the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
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A philosopher looks at our deepest emotions
Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D.
One-night stands are regarded as the most superficial and least intimate form of casual sex. Yet surprising empirical findings cast serious doubts on this assertion.
Two puzzles combine contrary temporal romantic features: change with familiarity, and consummation with perpetuation. Profound love can contain all features.
A major criticism against polyamory is that it spreads love too thin. Is this indeed the case, or, like happiness, is love increased, not reduced, when shared?
Our first love is a significant milestone remembered for the rest of our life, but our last lover can provide calmness and security that the first often could not.
Closeness is vital in romantic relationships, but so is distance. Is a separate sleeping arrangement also valuable?
The impact of beauty is more than skin deep. This isn’t good news for romantic relationships, as it may harm both beautiful people and those interacting with them.
Are romantic compromises really so terrible, or can such compromises be valuable? Four major characteristics show the differences between the two.
The connection between love and time has always fascinated lovers, who ask themselves if their love will endure. The answer is complicated.
Could robots be more satisfying lovers than their human counterparts? Answering this question requires clarifying the nature of emotions and romantic love.
Romantic love is often described as both patient and impatient. Does this paradoxical description make sense?
A common reaction to romantic breakups is rebound sex, shortly after separation. A popular view considers such sex as harmful; some empirical studies doubt this view.
What is the role of seeing and hearing in generating sexual attraction? And what is the most seductive part of the body?
In ideal love, we choose our partner with no indecision or doubts. However, to develop a flourishing romantic bond, combining decisiveness with some hesitance is valuable.
Recent studies indicate that superficial romantic encounters are valuable. Do they also suggest the advantage of casual sex over enduring love?
Humor and sexiness are often more romantically attractive than wisdom and beauty.
Two groups of a potential partner’s characteristics are: (a) those described in their resume, and (b) those mentioned in their future eulogy. Which one matters more in love?
Various studies have confirmed the value for relationships of imagination expressed in idealization and sexual fantasies.
Sensitivity is essential in romantic relationships. Nevertheless, too much romantic sensitivity can be harmful and a limited degree of indifference is required.
Our love lives are full of romantic regrets, ranging from our choices of unsuitable partners to missed romantic opportunities. Do those regrets have a functional value?
Nurturing, rather than preventative behavior, is the most efficient method of self-control in profound love.
Why intense passion isn't the only component of a successful relationship.
Unlike occasional achievements, a person’s ongoing success can sometimes be harmful to one’s partner and relationship.
Anyone can produce big romantic gestures, but it's through small, daily actions that genuine lovers maintain truly loving relationships.
Here are 4 ways to develop a healthy pickiness, which increases the chances of finding a suitable partner.
Flirting is an enjoyable and playful romantic game encompassing many contradictory aspects, which an ambitious flirt must master in order to be successful.
Romantic Ideology assumes the eternal and exclusive nature of love and consequently creates major difficulties for many. Is this ideology still valuable?
The most comfortable and easy location to have sex is in bed. Why, then, do so many people prefer to have sex outdoors?
Why are people attracted to their exes? Is renewal of romantic bonds for sexual satisfaction a good idea?
Derogatory terms like cougar and gold-digger are directed solely at women in relationships with big age gaps. Why does society adopt such double standards?
Intimate kissing is central in romantic and sexual experiences. Why, then, do some people avoid it during casual encounters?
Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., former President of the University of Haifa, is a professor of philosophy. His books include The Arc of Love: How Our Romantic Lives Change Over Time.