Self-Help
11 Ways to Express Your Autonomy
Learn how to give yourself permission to do more of what you want.
Posted May 22, 2025 Reviewed by Margaret Foley
We all face real constraints, but most of us also allow ourselves to be boxed in by imaginary ones. You might feel like invisible hands are holding you back. The truth is, you already have permission to do more of what you want than you're currently doing. You just haven't given yourself that permission. Here are 11 areas where you can reclaim your autonomy simply by recognizing you don't need anyone's approval.
You Don't Need Permission to:
1. Do something purely because you want to.
I chose my main gym for its excellent childcare. But I sometimes also pay for passes to a second gym that has better equipment, even though I can't go often since it doesn't offer any childcare. Two memberships felt excessive, but at $15 for a 30-day pass, enjoying the other gym was reason enough.
2. Try something that only has a low chance of working.
We sometimes have conscious or unconscious rules that we should only try things we're at least 95 percent sure will work.
However, there are lots of low-effort, high-reward things we could try that are still worth giving a go, even if they only have a 10 percent chance of working. Don't fall victim to the Overthinker's Paradox. Go ahead and spend 30 minutes submitting an application that just might succeed.
3. Do something that you've been told doesn't suit you.
In the early '90s, when I was a tween, there was a big fad where people used color consultants or books to analyze their color tones and categorize them as "Winter," "Spring," "Summer," or "Autumn." I was told I was a "Winter," which apparently determined what colors I should wear. It took me 20 years to shed this ridiculous label and wear what I enjoy.
We often limit ourselves to what we think suits us, based on physical traits, strengths/weaknesses, or personality. You can jog if you're 200 pounds. You don't have to color your hair, even if people tell you grey is aging.
4. Not fit in a box.
You can be mostly vegan, except that you eat eggs. You can date men, then date women, then date men again.
5. Break rules in the form of "I can't do x until I've done y."
For example, you might have personal rules like this:
- I can't do yoga at the gym if I haven't done all my strength training for the week.
- I can't solve a smaller problem until I've solved a bigger one.
- I can't do something once until I can do it consistently: I can't eat a salad for lunch today until I commit to eating salads consistently. (Don't limit yourself only to what you can do consistently.)
6. Change a routine or habit.
We often feel an invisible pull to continue routines. We're told that we should stick to our habits. You don't need permission to switch up a routine that feels stale or that you need a break from.
In Stress-Free Productivity, I cover research showing that changing our routines, even in tiny ways, increases creativity. Changing up our behavior frees our minds!
7. Create.
We often have secret ambitions of what we'd like to create. Maybe you'd like to paint a mural on the side of your house. Maybe you'd like to make a series of videos. Maybe you'd like to try your hand at fancy cake decoration or food-fusion, like mashing up two food concepts.
8. Experiment with new activities without extensive research.
Sometimes we feel like we should be sure we're going to like something before trying it. But that's unnecessary. The point of trying something is to test if you like it, with an open mind. Finding out you don't like it—or finding out you do—is a success. We don't need to do extensive research to find the best version or forecast what the experience will be like.
9. Abandon things we've invested money or time in.
You don't need permission to stop reading a novel you're not enjoying.
10. Do something others might criticize or complain about but can't actually stop.
You want your spouse to care for your kids so you can go to a weekend art retreat. They complain, but will still do it—yet you don't go.
Or, you like going to the theater alone, but your sister makes a snide comment. You don't have to let that stop you.
You don't need permission to step outside expectations when others can only disapprove, not prevent.
11. Ask open-ended questions for discovery and curiosity.
I like watching YouTube videos that involve the creator visiting a location and asking questions of strangers—like standing outside a gym and asking those walking in for their best tip on fitness or business. The idea is that gym-goers, especially at high-end gyms, have self-discipline and have valuable insights.
You might want to do something like this, but feel held back.
Small Starts Are All You Need
Expressing your autonomy is self-reinforcing. When it works out well and feels good, you'll be motivated to do more of it.
The best way to express your autonomy more is to do it in any way, and let the intrinsic rewards spur you on to do more of it. You already have more freedom than you're using—you just need to start claiming it.
To discover how your unique strengths can help you have more unconventional successes, try this guide to learn about your strengths, or this one to learn about finding hidden paths.
Facebook image: PeopleImages.com - Yuri A/Shutterstock
