5 Ways to Survive Days That Your Normal Routine Is a Struggle

We all have days where what normally feels manageable suddenly feels like a grind. What usually feels happily productive instead feels hard. Here are five strategies for how to cope and survive days like that.

1. Identify Unacknowledged Stressors That Are Weighing You Down

Sometimes we don’t think about or acknowledge what’s causing us to feel background stress.

For example:

• Your neighbor is playing loud music and disrupting your sleep. You’re annoyed because they’re being inconsiderate.
• Daycare told you your child was hitting other children.
• You have an injury that’s causing you persistent pain.
• You’ve got to figure out how to return a 100-pound box.

Just identifying that there is a background stressor contributing to how you feel can give you a greater sense of understanding and predictability. Rather than the stress feeling diffuse, it's helpful to identify a concrete reason that’s affecting you.

2. Run the Mile You’re In

This strategy is almost so obvious that it feels patronizing, but it’s important, practical, and sometimes we forget it:

If you find yourself looking ahead and feeling burdened by the long list of everything you need to do today or this week, focus on just the next thing you need to do.

• For routine tasks, ask yourself, “What’s the absolute easiest way I could do this?” For instance, what’s the absolute easiest way I can do my laundry?

• A cheat code for answering this question is that the easiest way to do a routine task is often simply not adding unnecessary mental load to it. Execute the procedure without overthinking it. Don't ask yourself if you should be doing it better or faster, or differently.

3. Imagine What Mindset Shift Would Change How You Feel

Don’t tell yourself to make a mindset shift—just identify a specific thinking shift that would change the tide of how you feel. There’s a trick to using this strategy: Invite yourself to consider a mindset shift you could make, not one you should make.

For example, you’re putting pressure on yourself to knock a particular task out of the park. If you weren’t adding that pressure, everything would feel more manageable.

Humor is an overlooked technique for making mindset shifts. For example:

• Imagine you asked your 10-year-old to give you a pep talk to improve your day. What might they say? They’d likely repeat pep talks you’ve given them—but with more sass and irony.
• Imagine the world’s laziest person or your pet dog giving you advice.
• Hear a sportscaster narrating your to-do list or the mental commentary running through your head like it was a game.
• Let yourself sigh dramatically for a minute.

You don’t have to force a mindset change—just playing with the idea can shift your perspective and lighten your emotional load.

4. Identify the Stressor or Task That, If It Magically Disappeared, Would Bring You Huge Relief

Ask yourself: What particular task or stressor, if it magically disappeared, would bring you instant relief?

Your answer may either point to a practical solution or provide further clues about what’s really weighing you down.

For example, on one night of the week, I need to make dinner for both that night and the next because the following evening we get home late.

If removing the thought that I needed to make two dinners would dramatically shift my emotions, that would suggest a practical solution might help—like making a double quantity of the same meal or planning to serve a Trader Joe’s frozen meal the next night.

Your answer might reveal a situation you can only change your attitude about, rather than actively problem solve. In these cases, a self-compassionate approach might help.

5. Identify a Boost You Can Look Forward To

Sometimes, we make the mistake of living only for the weekends. Plan a treat you can look forward to for the end of the day or for when you finish an intensive task.

Self-Help Essential Reads

Self-Help Advice People Keep Overlooking

Lessons From Studying Over 100 Self-Help Books and 20 Therapies

Examples:

• An early night.
• A bath.
• Enjoying a podcast you haven’t listened to in ages.
• A yummy dinner.
• Lathering your dry skin with half a bottle of your favorite lotion.
• Changing out worn-out items for new ones.
• A mental lift our family enjoys at the end of difficult or exhausting days is a game called "rose, thorn, bud.” Each person identifies one good thing that happened to them (the rose), one negative (the thorn), and one thing they’re looking forward to (the bud). We don’t do this every day, but when any of us needs a boost, it’s a routine we enjoy.

When Your Typical Routine Suddenly Feels Like a Grind, Diagnosing and Troubleshooting Can Help

If your routine usually feels manageable but doesn't today, it’s a sign that a small change could make all the difference. By identifying what’s weighing you down, running the mile you’re in, and adjusting your mindset, you can get back on track and feel more in control.