Relationships
7 Ways to Give Your Partner a Boost
Let them know that you love things about them that they don't even like.
Posted December 29, 2015 Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
A key way that relationships benefit the individuals involved is when individuals help their partners see strengths that those partners don't see in themselves. One way to achieve this is by giving genuine compliments that make the other person see a part of themselves differently. Here are some examples:
1. Compliment a body part.
What do you love about your partner’s body that they don’t pay much attention to, or that they’re sensitive about? It could be that your partner has sparkly eyes, cute freckles on their nose, or particularly symmetrical lips. Tell your partner what you love about their body that they’ve never even registered as being attractive.
Sometimes people have a body part they see as unattractive but you love (e.g., a crooked nose, or ears that stick out a little bit). Showing that you love that part of them can go a long way to helping increase their self-acceptance, if you're doing it genuinely and your relationship is strong. (If you go this route, make sure you’re confident your partner will take what you say as a genuine compliment.)
2. What does your partner look particularly good wearing?
Is there a color or style of clothing that particularly suits your partner and that they wear often? Let them know it's working for them, and you.
3. Point out something that he or she has introduced you to that has brought happiness to your life.
Do you now love something that your partner introduced you to? Maybe you never tried Korean BBQ before you met and now it’s your favorite thing? Is there a wine, beer, or coffee your partner introduced you to that is now one of your favorites? (Or TV shows, movies, podcasts, vacation destinations, brands, stores, songs, bands, apps, etc.)
4. Compliment your partner’s taste.
Does your partner make really great choices? Do you love a piece of furniture they chose for your home or theirs, or a paint color? Do they pick really good movies from Netflix? Tell them: "You know what? You have really excellent taste in…”
5. How has your partner made you feel better about yourself?
Tell your partner how they’ve helped you feel good about yourself. For example, if your partner pats your bum because they like it, let them know that it makes you feel good. Whatever it is they appreciate about you, let them know it’s nice to know that they do: “I never particularly appreciated my [fill in the blank] until you paid attention to it"; or, “I love it whenever you ask if I can cook [fill in the blank]. It makes me feel good.”
6. Compliment their family or friends.
For example, “John is a really great person. You made a nice choice of friend there.” Or, “Your dad is a really hard worker. You and he share that.”
7. Compliment their sense of humor or fun, or the way they laugh.
In what ways is your partner good at having fun or expressing enjoyment? Let them know and they'll feel even more comfortable doing it.
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