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Authenticity

10 Unexpected Ways to Feel More Alive

Don’t let depleted be your default state.

Key points

  • One way to increase vitality is to satisfy the need for autonomy and social connection.
  • Other approaches include nostalgia, flow states, novelty, and spending time in nature.
  • Awareness of our mortality can increase our appreciation for life.
YuganovKonstantin/Shutterstock
Source: YuganovKonstantin/Shutterstock

Just because we’re alive doesn’t mean we always feel full of life. Everyday stresses can leave us drained and worn down like we’re running on autopilot. But small adjustments can help us recapture a sense of vitality. The following are ten science-based approaches.

1. Do something because you genuinely want to

Research finds that we feel most energized not only when our physical needs are met (food, water, sleep, etc.), but also when our psychological needs are met. One of these needs is autonomy, or the ability to make decisions and direct our own behaviors, rather than feeling controlled or pressured. Life is full of situations where we don’t have much of a choice, let alone complete freedom, but we can look for ways to do things on our own terms when we do have some flexibility; and when we don’t, reminding ourselves of the reasons we value the things we have to do may make those things feel more satisfying.

2. Make someone’s day

Another psychological need that can increase vitality is social connection, especially forms that involve benefiting others, like volunteering or providing emotional support. Even doing something for someone you’ll never meet can help: In one study, participants whose successful performance on a game led to a donation to a food bank felt more alive and energized afterward than those whose performance didn’t have this benefit, in part due to the knowledge that their actions had a positive impact on others.

3. Reconnect with your younger self

Feeling alive may come more naturally when we’re young, but as we get older we don’t have to lose touch with that youthful spirit. A series of experiments on the benefits of nostalgia found that reflecting back on positive memories from the past increased people’s sense of self-continuity, or feelings of connection between who they are now and who they were then, which made them feel revitalized. Nostalgic music has been shown to be a powerful way to evoke this feeling.

Jackson David/ Pexels
Source: Jackson David/ Pexels

4. Focus on what your body can do instead of how it looks

One major drain on vitality happens when a person is treated like an object, a view that can become internalized as self-objectification. A chronic focus on how one appears to others can divert attention away from the internal experience of being alive, like the satisfying feeling of your heart pumping and your muscles working during exercise, or the pleasure of eating good food. Noticing and appreciating these internal states may help counteract the negative effects of objectification.

5. Get absorbed in a flow state

In a study of workers across a range of occupations, feeling greater flow at work was associated with greater vitality. Flow is defined as a state of being so fully immersed in what you’re doing that you lose yourself in it and barely notice the time passing. It happens when your skill level is perfectly matched with the difficulty of a task, making it enjoyably challenging but also seemingly effortless. Examples of activities that might induce flow include: playing music, making art, dancing, writing, gaming, rock climbing, surfing, and playing sports.

6. Break out of your usual routine

Well-learned activities can be vitalizing because of their potential to induce a flow state, but so too can novel activities. Even minor changes to our typical habits can engage our curiosity and heighten our senses, like eating a type of cuisine we’ve never tried before, taking a new route home, or reading a book about a place or time in history we know nothing about. Research finds that the more novelty people experience in everyday life, the more alive and vital they feel.

7. Embrace your extraversion or introversion

Extraverted behaviors include being upbeat, enthusiastic, and outgoing, all of which seem like they should boost energy and vitality—and for most extroverts, they do. But studies have found that for people who are naturally more introverted, forcing themselves to act extraverted may ultimately be depleting. While extroverts tend to derive energy from being social, introverts often find that alone time is the best way to recharge.

8. Take a walk in nature

You don’t have to climb Mount Everest to feel invigorated. In one study, taking just a 20 minute walk had a rejuvenating effect on college students, especially when they walked in a setting that included natural elements, like in a park with trees or along a river. Other studies have found that even virtual natural environments can be restorative.

9. Stand up for what you believe

People who have what researchers call an "authentic inner compass" also tend to experience greater vitality. This inner compass involves having a clear sense of what you feel is truly important, adhering to your principles in difficult situations, and pursuing goals you’re passionate about while being less susceptible to pressure to conform or comply with others.

10. Appreciate the basic fact of being alive

One reason we don’t always feel alive is that it’s just not front and center in our minds—we’re too busy focusing on other things. But research suggests there may be another reason, too; on some level, we might avoid reflecting too deeply on our existence because it involves recognizing our mortality, something that is generally not pleasant to think about. It really depends on how we look at it, though: we can lament the fact that life is finite, or we can feel grateful that we get to experience it at all.

References

Assor, A., Benita, M., Shi, Y., Goren, R., Yitshaki, N., & Wang, Q. (2021). The Authentic Inner Compass as a well-being resource: Predictive effects on vitality, and relations with self-esteem, depression and behavioral self-realization. Journal of Happiness Studies, 22(8), 3435–3455

Frias, A., Watkins, P. C., Webber, A. C., & Froh, J. J. (2011). Death and gratitude: Death reflection enhances gratitude. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 6(2), 154–162.

González-Cutre, D., Romero-Elías, M., Jiménez-Loaisa, A., Beltrán-Carrillo, V. J., & Hagger, M.S. (2020). Testing the need for novelty as a candidate need in basic psychological needs theory. Motivation and Emotion, 44, 295–314.

Martela, F. & Ryan, R. M. (2016) Prosocial behavior increases well-being and vitality even without contact with the beneficiary: Causal and behavioral evidence. Motivation and Emotion, 40, 351–357.

Nix, G. A., Ryan, R. M., Manly, J. B., & Deci, E. L. (1999). Revitalization through self-regulation: The effects of autonomous and controlled motivation on happiness and vitality. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 35(3), 266–284.

Pickett, J., Hofmans, J., Feldt, T., & De Fruyt, F. (2020). Concurrent and lagged effects of counterdispositional extraversion on vitality. Journal of Research in Personality, 87.

Reese, G., Mehner, M., Nelke, I., Stahlberg, J. & Menzel, C. Into the wild … or not: Virtual nature experiences benefit well-being regardless of human-made structures in nature. (2022). Frontiers in Virtual Reality, 3, 952073.

Rivkin, W., Diestel, S., & Schmidt, K. H. (2018). Which daily experiences can foster well-being at work? A diary study on the interplay between flow experiences, affective commitment, and self-control demands. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 23(1), 99–111.

Sedikides, C., Wildschut, T., Cheung, W.-Y., Routledge, C., Hepper, E. G., Arndt, J., Vail, K., Zhou, X., Brackstone, K., & Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M. (2016). Nostalgia fosters self-continuity: Uncovering the mechanism (social connectedness) and consequence (eudaimonic well-being). Emotion, 16(4), 524–539

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