In Love and War

Rethinking the way we treat ourselves.

Juliana Breines Ph.D.

What Motivates People to Take Health Risks?

Why do people sometimes behave in ways that put their health at risk, even when they have no desire to harm themselves? Research suggests social concerns can play a role.

How Rejection Sensitivity Derails Relationships

It’s common to have fears and insecurities about relationships, but sometimes these fears take on a life of their own and have destructive consequences.

Why Some People Resent "Do-Gooders"

Success may inspire others, but it can also fuel resentment. Here’s why — and what you can do about it.

Why Searching for the “Perfect” Partner Can Leave Us Lonely

“Never settle” is a helpful mantra, but it can cause problems when taken to an extreme.

5 Ways Self-Compassion Promotes a Healthy Body Image

Many people are overly critical of their appearance. If you're one of them, self-compassion might help.

The Surprising Reason We Might Look Down on Others’ Choices

The desire to feel good about our own decisions can sometimes lead us to scoff at those who’ve made different ones.

Why Some People Are Reluctant to Be Self-Compassionate

Does the idea of treating yourself with kindness make you feel uncomfortable? A recent study sheds light on why that might be.

3 Tips for Discussing Politics Over the Holidays

Nervous about going home for the holidays because of the political blow-ups that might ensue? Try these three strategies.

Is This the Secret to Reaching Your Healthiest Weight?

To improve your diet, change the way you see yourself.

7 Ways to Make a Long Commute Less Painful

Lengthy commutes can threaten health and happiness, but they don’t have to. Here are seven research-based suggestions for surviving (and maybe even enjoying) your commute.

Love and the Power of Wishful Thinking

Want to turn a friendship into a romance? This simple strategy just might work.

The Perils of Comparing Ourselves to Others

It’s normal to wonder how we measure up in relation to others, but dwelling too much on these judgments has a cost.

4 Ways You Can Finally Establish Healthier Habits

For a culture so obsessed with self-improvement, we’re not very good at it. But there is hope, if we change our approach.

5 Surprising Reasons You Should Look Back on Your Past

Reflecting on the past can enrich the present (and the future) in unexpected ways.

7 Reasons to Follow Your Own Path

Unsure whether an unconventional path is worth the struggle? Consider these seven reasons to stick it out.

5 Ways That Self-Esteem Boosting Strategies Can Backfire

When you’re feeling bad about yourself, these approaches may be tempting, but they’re unlikely to serve you in the long run.

6 Ways That Your Name Influences Your Decisions

Are you following your heart—or your name? Research suggests that we gravitate to people, places, and things that sound like our own names, often without realizing it.

Why You Have to Love Yourself First

Popular wisdom tells us that self-esteem is a prerequisite for a healthy relationship; research suggests that the truth may be more complicated.

4 Things You Shouldn’t Blame Yourself for After a Breakup

When a relationship ends, learning from your mistakes is a good thing; unfairly blaming yourself is not.

Graduate School and Mental Illness: Is There a Link?

Few people go to graduate school thinking it will be a walk in the park. But many find that it involves a lot more stress than they bargained for, and this can take a toll on mental health.

10 Ways to Increase Work-Life Balance

It might seem like work-life balance is something that can only come later in life, but if we don’t make room for the things that matter now, we may not get another chance.

6 Reasons Nice People Say Hurtful Things

The internet has recently seen an explosion of “Things You Should Never Say” articles. Why is it that people often say the wrong thing, despite their best efforts and intentions? Here are five potential explanations.

3 Ways Your Beliefs Can Shape Your Reality

Beliefs may not single-handedly determine your physical health, financial status, and chances at finding love, as some claim, but they are powerful nonetheless.

How to Get the Most Out of Your Vacation

Vacation time is precious, and most people don’t get nearly enough of it. So how can you make the most of the time you do have? Research suggests that these eight strategies may help.

5 'Flaws' That Just Make You More Lovable

You may think that people love you despite your flaws, not because of them. But some of the traits that you see as flaws may be more attractive than you realize.

10 Keys to Making Up Your Mind

Stuck in a seemingly impossible dilemma? Consider these 10 research-based strategies for better decision-making.

5 Silver Linings You Can Find in Hard Times

Major negative life events, such as the death of a loved one, the dissolution of an important relationship, or the diagnosis of a serious illness, can be painful and isolating. But these experiences can also sometimes bring about unexpected positive changes.

3 Ways Your Romantic Instincts Can Lead You Astray

Romantic instincts are subject to a number of biases that can lead us to trust the wrong people and overlook the right ones.

The Surprising Future Appeal of Everyday Experiences

Typically it’s the big milestones that we document most diligently—the weddings, births, graduations, professional achievements. These are the events we expect we’ll most want to revisit down the road. But research suggests that revisiting ordinary, everyday experiences can bring us a lot more pleasure than we realize.

Why Stress Gets to Us, and How to Make It Stop

Research suggests that stressing about stress may be worse than stress itself.

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