There is not a stick strong enough nor a carrot juicy enough to deposit a “sense” in someone else’s mind if it does not fit with their views and their life.
We need to get much better at appreciating that behaviour from an observer’s perspective can be an entirely different experience from behaviour as it is experienced by the behaver.
It turns out that control is not the problem but, rather, it is the things that people choose to control that can either forge or fragment social bonds.
When correcting any problem, the way in which the trouble is understood will have a large bearing on how effective and efficient the remediation efforts are.
Control is nothing more than the activity of making things be the way an individual wants them to be and keeping them that way until the individual decides they don’t need to be that way any more.