In Control

A new approach to living well

Tim Carey Ph.D.

Bothered?

While psychological distress can manifest in a multitude of ways, the sense of being bothered is a common theme.

Controlling People Will Never Give Up

It is the nature of controlling people to control.

Have It Your Way!

Let's start a tradition of raising our glasses at social celebrations and toasting "May you live life your way."

Why Do We Do Things We Don't Want to Do?

Everything we do is connected to our wants.

The Grooviness of Control

Control is nothing more mysterious than making things happen the way you want.

Finding the Thing That Makes You Happy

Contentment is nothing more than getting what you want, day in and day out.

Solving the Problem of Controlling People

Controlling people are only problematic when we become conflicted about doing what they want.

It Depends

We always make decisions relative to other decisions we could have made or different goals we could have achieved.

How to Bring Someone to Their Senses

There is not a stick strong enough nor a carrot juicy enough to deposit a “sense” in someone else’s mind if it does not fit with their views and their life.

Top 10 Parenting Tips

Parenting is the greatest trip on earth. I wish you the ride of your life.

Self-Determination Is NOT a Basic Human Right

Life, in fact, for as long as it exists, is an ongoing process of realizing the experiences or outcomes that we have determined must be established.

Out With Empathy

The spirit of genuine curiosity is a humble acceptance of our innocence when it comes to the experiences of another.

We All Talk To Ourselves

Be prepared to be surprised and delighted at what your mind will accomplish for you if you let it do all that it is designed to do.

Why You Should Never Try to Change Your Behavior

Getting to know all that you want could be the most important learning you ever make.

No One Lives in the Past

We’re not living in the past, we’re sorting in the present.

Controlling People

Recognising people as controllers is very helpful for understanding and improving interactions.

Mind the Gap

We’re designed to correct things when they are different from how we want them to be.

Do You Ever Find Life to be a Bit Formulaic?

Life is a formula - in fact, it's two.

You’re Never In Control

Nothing is ever good or bad but controlling makes it so.

Controlling Students

Nagging people to change a goal that they’re currently nurturing rarely works.

Getting What You Want

We are all wanters. Every one of us wants lots of different things all day, every day.

Goals Are Not What You Think!

Goals are always about the outcome or result of particular behaviours, not about the actions that bring those results into being.

You Have No Choice

It is the case that when one path is chosen, this has the effect of limiting our choices in other areas.

Who Are You?

Angst, stress, and inner torment can arise when the goals of different mes are incompatible or even oppositional.

Behaving Badly for Good Reasons

The key to changing unwanted behavior is to find and get to know that place in your mind where the behavior is not unwanted.

Controlling Other People Is Easy

The Holy Grail of humanity is findings ways to control what we want without stopping other people from doing the same thing.

The Dalai Lama Was Right!

We need to get much better at appreciating that behaviour from an observer’s perspective can be an entirely different experience from behaviour as it is experienced by the behaver.

Mindfulness Is Control

If you want to live a more mindful life or any kind of life at all, do what you can to understand the process of control.

Control: Nature’s Greatest Achievement

Control is like air. It’s all around us all the time and it’s essential to life.

Inside the Minds of Controlling People

It turns out that control is not the problem but, rather, it is the things that people choose to control that can either forge or fragment social bonds.

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