Empathy
"Wicked"’s Call to Kindness
What the musical turned blockbuster teaches us about generosity in a judgy world.
Posted December 31, 2024 Reviewed by Margaret Foley
Key points
- Generosity isn’t about others “deserving” it—it’s about the world we want to create and who we choose to be.
- Be skeptical of labels like "good" and "wicked."
- Our actions matter—offering compassion can help prevent others from feeling isolated or becoming “wicked.”
When the movie adaptation of Wicked hit theaters in November 2024, it wasn’t just a cultural phenomenon—it was a wake-up call. In a world quick to judge, Wicked challenged us to rethink how we treat others.
As we head into a new year, Wicked reminds us that generosity isn’t about what others “deserve.” It’s about the world we want to create—not in Oz, but right here on Earth.
Why Wicked Resonates
At its heart, Wicked is about perspective. It challenges the villain narrative by showing how Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, was transformed by pain, rejection, and bad luck. As Kermit the Frog famously lamented, “It’s not easy being green.”
The story resonates because we’ve all felt misunderstood, judged, or unfairly labeled. And we’ve also judged others—the critical family member, the rude colleague, or someone who voted differently.
Elphaba’s relationship with Glinda, the “good” witch, shows how judgment and rejection create cycles of pain and distance. At times, they come heartbreakingly close to understanding each other—when Glinda glimpses what Elphaba has endured and Elphaba recognizes the insecurities behind Glinda’s sunny facade.
Their conflict wasn’t inevitable, but social pressures and fateful choices pushed them into rigid roles of “good” and “wicked.”
The “Wicked” Trap
Our social-media-fueled culture often does the same, encouraging snap judgments and tribal sorting. For example, organizational psychologist Adam Grant recently suggested that generosity should be reserved for those who meet your “standards of character.” He argues that helping selfish people rewards bad behavior and we should erect boundaries to save our energy for those who respect our time.
Wicked challenges this mindset. First, it asks us to question the labels of “good” and “wicked”—and how we always seem to be the “good” one. Second, boundaries protect our energy, but how do we use this energy? Just for those who are easy to love?
Finally, it reminds us that relationships are a two-way street. Research on interpersonal rejection shows that excluding or labeling someone as an “other” fuels anger and withdrawal, the very behaviors we’re trying to police.
Defying Gravity With Generosity
Generosity lifts us above the exhausting habit of keeping score. Rather than responding in kind, pausing to listen to a stressed-out colleague, being patient with a nervous waiter, or smiling at a grumpy stranger can reshape a moment or even a relationship. These small acts can remind others of what Father Gregory Boyle calls the “unshakable goodness” we all carry but so often forget.
Modeling generosity defies gravity in other ways, too. Witnessing an act of kindness inspires others to do the same and also lifts the giver. Two dear friends jot down their acts of kindness and keep them in a jar on their coffee table as a reminder that being generous feels good.
Get Out of the Judgment Game
Perhaps, like Elphaba, you’re ready to stop playing by the rules of someone else’s game. If so, here are a few ways to practice generosity:
1. Give, Knowing the Risk: Some may abuse your kindness. Give anyway. Help a colleague who never says thank you or support a friend who might not reciprocate because of your values, not theirs.
2. Start With Small, Everyday Moments: Micro-generosity builds our muscle for the big things. Let a car merge in traffic, hold the elevator for someone in a rush, or stay kind when the cashier is slow.
3. Set Boundaries With Purpose: Boundaries aren’t barriers to kindness—they’re enablers. If a boorish colleague demands immediate help, politely decline while offering an alternative. Boundaries let you give generously without resentment.
4. Approach “Difficult” People With Curiosity: When dealing with a callous boss or critical friend, pause and ask yourself, “What might they be carrying?”
The Magic of Kindness
We judge others every day: the loud colleague on a Zoom call, the neighbor who never waves back, even ourselves for judging others. But Wicked reminds us that everyone carries hidden struggles from their own prequel.
This New Year, let's let go of labels like “good” and “wicked” and fly toward the generous world we want to live in.
