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Body Language
The Perfect Romantic Dinner
That first private dinner can be among life’s most pleasurable evenings…or not.
Posted July 24, 2017
You’ve had the coffee date and the movie date. Now you think it’s time to invite sweetie to your place for dinner and perhaps dessert.
This may be over-prescriptive, so feel free to use and not use these ideas as you see fit.
When and what
Choose an evening when both of you are likely to be fresh. Yes, typically that’s Saturday night but there’s no law against a weekday night or even Sunday brunch.
Choose a menu that will feel romantic but not require slaving in the kitchen while HoneyBunch is there Sample:
Prawns with cocktail sauce
Champagne/sparking wine. If you don’t have champagne glasses, dollar stores usually have them for, yes, a dollar.
A salad: My favorite is baby lettuce plus tomatoes, blue cheese, and croutons or candied pecans. Drizzle with oil and vinegar. Hint: Don’t use cherry tomatoes: squirting risk. Variation: Substitute goal cheese for the blue cheese and balsamic vinegar for the oil and vinegar.)
The main course should be:
- Makeable in advance.
- Baked rather than boiled or fried. That avoids having to monitor the dish when you should be focused on your, well, other dish.
- Easy and fast to prepare, ideally a one-dish main course.
- Not messy to eat. This isn't the time for ribs, lobster, or enchiladas.
- Not too filling. Forgo cheesy sauces and carb fests. You don’t want to induce food coma.
Examples of main courses that meet all those requirements:
- Paella, adding broccoli to ensure you get your veggies.
- Chicken Roasted on a Bed of Vegetables
- For vegetarians: Quinoa-stuffed Peppers.
Dessert. Store-bought is fine as long as it presents well. Again, choose something that requires no kitchen time when GuestyPoo is there. Examples: Trader Joe's Chocolate Ganache Torte or vanilla ice cream topped with fresh berries.
The countdown
Set the table in advance. Cloth napkins and tablecloth are impressive although nice placemats and paper napkins are fine. A single rose and/or candles may be perfect or too much. Trust your gut.
An hour or more before your partner’s arrival, put the champagne in the refrigerator or, for chilling in a half hour, the freezer.
15 minutes before, make the salad and put it on the table or in the kitchen, unrefrigerated.
Put out the prawns (which of course have been refrigerated) and cocktail sauce (store-bought is fine) on a serving plate. Place it where you’d like the stand-up first part of the conversation to take place. Typically, that’s on the kitchen counter or bar.
Adjust the lighting so it’s not too bright but not so dim that you look like you’re trying to get to dessert too quickly.
Five minutes before arrival, put on soft music. If it’s a CD, put it on replay, so you don’t have to keep alert to it ending.
When your partner rings the bell, take a deep breath. You’re prepared, so now your job is to be fully present: make frequent eye contact, and listen well.. Some people when nervous run off at the mouth. Don't.
Give Snookums a welcoming hug: not too much, not too little. Don’t rush things.
If your guest has a coat, wrap, or umbrella, ask, “May I take that?”
Give your partner the space to initiate conversation. Listen well. At the first lull, ask “Champagne?”
In another minute or two, walk your date to the prawn plate or bring it to him/her.
Continue the conversation. Remember, you should be talking 30 to 50 percent of the time. Really listen with your ears and body language.
After 15 to 30 minutes, at a lull, ask, “Ready for salad?” If you wish, offer more champagne.
Allow a little time between the salad, main course, and dessert. You don’t want to rush.
Do that and perhaps during or soon after dessert, the time may be right for that second “dessert.”
Dr. Nemko’ nine books are available. You can reach career and personal coach Marty Nemko at mnemko@comcast.net.
