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Can you remember the first time you found a penny on the street? Exciting, no?
I also remember feeling good as I put coins into a piggy bank. Then I deposited a $1 a week into a bank account. It was fun to see the numbers in my bankbook go up, especially when they gave me that bit of interest—Not only did they not charge me for keeping my money in that fancy safe building, they paid me!
I was happy that I could use my savings to buy a toy my parents said I didn't need or a subscription to Mad magazine...or play poker with my friends.
While in college, I was making good money as a cab driver and keyboard player so I walked into my local Merrill Lynch office, whereupon the broker promptly lost half my money for me: "Buy!" Buy!". "Sell! Sell!" Then I learned about the simple wisdom of dollar-cost averaging into Vanguard All-in-One funds, and that one-line advice has, for decades now, kept me in good stead. Actually, because I'm more of a saver than a spender, it has kept me in very good stead.
The downsides
Once I had money and a middle-class wife, I shed my not-materialistic self for the typical American trappings: home/mortgage, furniture, jewelry, vacations in nice hotels, blah-blah blah.
Now I started worrying that I needed to make good money. So volunteer-hosting my radio program and writing columns for next-to-nothing had to take a back seat. And I started to worry about the stock market. Oh my God: I just lost $1,000 today! Yay, I just made $1,000 today!"
Soon I had enough money that my charitable contributions could be more significant than buying Girl Scout cookies. So I donated $24,000 to a university to develop an online video that would train teachers on how to work with gifted kids. It was terrible and deservedly got very few page views. $24,000 down the drain. (Afterwards, in frustration, I created my own. It has received 27,000 views with 125 thumbs-ups and only 4 thumbs down.) Since then, I've made other significant donations but I worry about how much good they're doing.
Then there's all the time I have to spend preparing my income tax returns. I used to go to an accountant but ended up having to do most of the work organizing all the receipts. After a few years, I figured it was easier to learn the relevant tax rules and prepare the tax returns myself using TurboTax. I give up a week a year just to do my taxes.
Now I'm old enough and have enough money to create an estate plan--stressful, scary, and a test of any marriage. But we've just finished it. If anything, our marriage is stronger as a result.
But sometimes, I picture all those smiling faces of poor people in poor countries that the media keeps showing us as evidence that a simple, corporation-free life is a better life. Would I, net, have been happier poor? I don't think so but I'm not completely sure.
The takeaway
What's your life history with money? Anything you want to change about your attitude or behavior regarding earning, saving, or spending money?
