Three Reasons People With Perfectionism Are Frequently Late

Call it the perfectionist paradox. While some of my overly-conscientious therapy clients and friends always show up early, a surprising number are habitually late. They arrive flustered and apologetic—or log onto Zoom after sending an email titled, “Running 5 minutes behind!”

First, let’s back up and do a quick definition. People with perfectionism, contrary to what the label suggests, don’t necessarily strive for perfection; more often, there’s a sense of never feeling good enough. Things could always be better. We have a tendency to focus on flaws and feel compelled to fix potential shortcomings. We are our own worst critic.

And while you’d think a brain laser-focused on eradicating errors would keep us from being late, it actually makes us late in at least three ways. Here’s how:

Perfectionistic Pitfall #1: We Resist Wasting Time

Perfectionists dislike waste in any form: wasted energy, wasted potential, wasted effort, and—relevant here—wasted time.

Because the perfectionistic brain wants to optimize productivity and efficiency, we push leaving until the last minute. Getting there early or having to wait is anathema to us because it feels like a waste of time.

This results in what I call “One More Thing” syndrome. We try to squeeze in just one more task—finishing an email, filling up the tank, hitting the ATM, or dropping off a return—which, predictably, makes us late.

If this resonates, try flipping the script. Leave early on purpose, then use the extra time meaningfully: check emails, write a list, or—gasp—do something fun. Explore, chat, or reflect. Early arrival doesn’t have to equal wasted time.

Perfectionistic Pitfall #2: We Hate Leaving Tasks Unfinished

The perfectionistic brain hates to leave things unfinished. We want to start and complete a task — bonus points if it’s in one sitting. Therefore, it’s tempting to try to work in fast forward and feel the satisfaction of getting the task done (or at least avoid the annoyance of leaving it hanging). Too often, though, we end up leaving our task hanging when we realize we’re running late. Plus, we end up kicking ourselves (not that I know anything about that).

Enter the Zeigarnik Effect. Psychologist Dr. Bluma Zeigarnik found that we’re more likely to recall unfinished tasks than completed ones.

So, try a reframe: pausing a task isn't failure—it’s a memory enhancer.

Perfectionistic Pitfall #3: We Need to Do It “Our Way”

Perfectionists love doing things the “right” way—but what’s “right” differs from person to person. Case in point: everyone has their own “correct” method for loading a dishwasher.

If you’re consistently late, consider experimenting with your routine. Experiment with doubling the estimated Google Maps driving time, accounting for transitions like finding parking, leaving your task in the middle, or resisting squeezing in one more thing.

Then, observe how it feels. If you’re calm and guilt-free upon arrival—fantastic! But if you're edgy, annoyed, or uneasy, reflect: Are you frustrated by “wasting” time? Irritated when others are late?

These insights can guide your next “experiment.” Through trial and adjustment, you’ll develop a new “right” way—one that actually gets you out the door on time, and works for you.

Whether you call it punctual or just plain prepared, there’s no convert like the newly on-time. Try it a few times. You might just love moving from being put on the spot to getting there on the dot.