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Myers-Briggs
How to Become Special
Five options to consider.
Posted January 8, 2022 Reviewed by Kaja Perina
Key points
- Often, the most practical approach for becoming more special is to build on your existing strengths.
- Another way to be more special is to become expert in a career microniche.
- You also can differentiate yourself by building into your professional or personal life an interest or distinctive part of your personality.
Whether in our work or personal life, most people want to feel special, not just be like everyone else.
I had a client today (I change irrelevant details to protect anonymity) who runs a small architecture firm. She lamented feeling ordinary. Here’s a paraphrase of what she said and the essence of the exchange that followed:
Client: I was hoping to be special but so far, I’m not—Another architect could do what I do. And my firm isn’t doing that well.
Me: It seems there are two options. The first is to build on your strengths and skirt your weaknesses so, in toto, you are special and in a good way. The other option is to consider if there might be a better-suited career.
Client: We should talk about both of those options but let’s start with what I might do if I stay as an architect.
Me: What would you say are your main strengths and weaknesses as an architect?
Client: I’m good with details like project specs and the production work, but I'm bad at selling and the vision thing.
Me: Is it realistic to rejigger your job description to emphasize your strengths?
Client: Maybe.
Me: Do you think it’s worth trying to improve your selling or the vision thing?
Client: I don't think so.
Me: Then, is it realistic to hire someone to handle the selling, and when a project needs a bold vision, to hire someone as a consultant?
Client: Could be.
Me: Then maybe a bit of low-risk exploration would be wise. Is there anyone who comes to mind who could fill one or both of those roles with whom you should chat?
Client. I can think of two.
Me: So, do you want to, for homework, muse on, maybe even journal about, the wisdom of talking with either or both of them? You might also think about a self-improvement plan, whether to build on strengths, for example, getting expert on key software and/or remediating a weakness or two. For example, maybe take a sales-training course or think about whether your resistance to selling is because you know you'd be bad at it or that the firm needs to improve first.
If all that leads you to conclude it's worth considering a career change, in our next session, we can explore what might be wise options. How does that sound?
Client: Very good.
Me: Really?
Client. Yes.
How to be special
Yes, build on strengths. Per that example, my clients have most often found that building on strengths, even if they're just slivers of strength, not world-beating, is the most likely route to being special and feeling special.
But there are other approaches that may work as well or better for you. Examples:
Excel in a microniche career. Of course, excelling, by definition, differentiates you from the average, but that's not so easy. It can be easier if you pick a narrow niche, especially one that you care about. For example, a male psychotherapist who had an eating disorder, which is less common in men, might make the effort to become an expert in that. An English teacher who performed in college theatre plays, might direct her classes in scenes from plays. She might even act in them, in costume. Even doing some of that would make her special, memorable, in her students' eyes and in her own.
Suffuse your hobbies into your worklife. For example, I know a relationship counselor who keeps a stock of the many U.S. postage stamps that depict love and has clients choose their favorite. They're mint so they can be used for postage. When I'd like a client to take a minute to muse on something, I sometimes ask if prefer to do that in silence or for me to play soft music on the piano while they're thinking.
Build on your distinctive style. While the predictive validity of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is poor, its typology is helpful: All of us are either more thinking- or feeling-centric, extroverted or introverted, judging or perceiving. I'd add abstract or sensory, Do you stand out in one of those characteristics? Could you build on that to make you more special?
For example, if you're more of a judger than a perceiver, do you want to make that a larger part of your identity and behavior? For example, you might make a point of writing lots of thoughtful reviews on Amazon and Yelp. Instead of feeling sheepish about being judgmental, you might reframe that and take pride in your discernment. You might choose a career that emphasizes judging, for example, recruiter, product tester, or program evaluator.
If you're relational, you could look for extra opportunities for relationships beyond the typical: Should you be a mentor? A tutor? A pen pal on a pen-pal site? Form a board of advisors? In the latter, members state their goal and solicit the group's suggestions or support. In subsequent meetings, they issue a progress report. Here's more on that.
Go the extra mile. Some people distinguish themselves by going beyond the expected. For example, a counselor who enjoys hiking might invite a group of clients to go on a hike. That's unexpected, different, benefits the clients who choose to come, and makes all the invitees feel they have an especially caring and distinctive counselor.
Another example: I recently bought an owl-shaped candle on Etsy.com. When I received it, not only was it beautifully wrapped, it included a handwritten, personalized note. Not only does that make me want to buy more from her but I'd imagine that her going the extra mile for customers contributes to her feeling special.
The takeaway
So, turning to you, think about yourself at work and in your personal life. Would you like to be more special in either? If so, do any of the above hold promise for you?
I read this aloud on YouTube.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my loyal readers. My posts have now had 15 million views.
