Are You Thinking About Disengaging From Life?

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Some people decide they’ve had enough. They're not suicidal, they're just giving up on striving for much of anything. For example, consider this composite story:

I’ve had enough. It’s not because I’m old and sick—I'm 61 and healthy. It’s because nothing I do matters and no one gives a crap about me. Deep down, most people don’t give much of a crap about anyone. They may virtue-signal or be nice because they want something, but really, it’s all about #1.

I can sort of afford to retire and I’m going to. The world can definitely survive with one fewer marketing manager. It could survive without most of us.

I’m going to stop arguing about politics, about God, about everything. People are so stupid.

I'm going to stop the antidepressant. it doesn't help enough anyway.

The hell with dieting. And the hell with exercising. I like weed and I’m going to try mushrooms again. I’m not the type who’d actually commit suicide, but if I die sooner, I die sooner.

I’d ask this person this question:

Did you just want to get that off your chest or would you like me to ask you a few questions?

Assuming he’s open to the questions, I’d ask these:

Whether or not most people care mainly about themselves, some people are more caring to certain people? Can you think of a reason why people aren’t more caring about you?

You say that the world could survive without most marketing managers. Of course, good new products may need marketing so people can know about them, but it sounds like that’s not the sort of marketing manager job you have. Might you be more motivated if it were a product or service that you care about?

Or given that you’re alienated, do you want to get together regularly with one or more other alienated people to compare notes, maybe even give each other a decent idea or two?

Arguing hasn't worked for you. Would you rather give up on such discussions or maybe focus on finding common ground?

If antidepressants haven't helped enough, should you talk with a professional about other treatments? Some people find them of real value.

Right now, everything seems black. So you feel okay about overeating, doing drugs, and stopping exercise even if it will kill you. But is it possible that an idea or two in your answers to those questions might make you want to stay off the gurney?

The takeaway

At some point, many people feel like throwing in the towel, but often, the situation isn't as hopeless as it seems. If you or someone you care about is despondent, might any of those questions offer a glimmer of hope?

I read this aloud on YouTube.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK, or the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, see the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.