When No One Wants You

Professionally or personally.

Posted Apr 13, 2018

Pixabay, CC0 Public Domain
Source: Pixabay, CC0 Public Domain

Perhaps no one wants to hire you. Or have a romantic relationship with you. Or even be your platonic friend. What to do?

Of course, there’s the standard advice on how to land a job, or meet Mr/Ms Right or make friends.

But let’s assume you’ve tried about as much of that as you can stomach. Or you’re continuing to try but want to add to your list of solo activities. Here's a list of possibilities.


  • Start a simple one-person business. For example, tutor, perhaps students or adults who need to know what you know. Get clients by telling your friends and colleagues you’re doing that. Or post signs on local colleges’ bulletin boards or telephone poles. Or sell unusual items you know a lot about or have access to. For example, you might sell all that extra stuff in your home. A Rogerian therapy fan might buy and sell Carl Rogers stuff. For example, a first edition of his book, Freedom to Learn is for sale now on eBay for $150.
  • Take a job that’s easy to get, if only to keep a little money coming in, provide structure to your life, and give you some people contact. For example, you might query your favorite store. I like bookstores, plant nurseries, and wine shops.
  • Enhance your home, anything from redecorate to remodel. Or fix it up for sale and downscale your housing, which could net you serious money.
  • Volunteer for a cause or politician you believe in. Perhaps fundraise, do bookkeeping, or provide direct service to needy clients.
  • Write on. Most writing pays little or nothing but for people with the writing bug, it’s a way to make lemonade out of the lemon of no one wanting you. Lots of options: a blog, how-to articles, poems, short stories, novel, film script, stage play, whatever. Whether or not it sees the light of day, for writing types, the process is worth it. Or contribute to online how-to sites. I write user reviews on Yelp, Amazon, eBay, and Park Seed. Or answer user questions for software you know—These days, most software sites invite users to answer questions. I’ve, for example, used those answers in doing my tax return on TurboTax.
  • Do a visual or performing art: Take photos, paint, sing, act, do comedy, magic, even read aloud on YouTube. I do that for many of my PsychologyToday.com posts, including this one.


  • Consider that you might be better off solo. Take solace in the large percentage of relationships that yield more pain than pleasure and thus break up or stay together only because of inertia or the kids. Enjoy the solitude, for example, gardening, growing indoor plants, hiking, reading, watching the TV and movies you want without compromise, eating what and when you want, sleeping in a room at the temperature you want.
  • Solo sex. For some people, masturbation is a mere shadow of the real thing but other people actually prefer it: You receive pleasure when and how you want. it
  • Romantic novels and films. Ranker.com offers a list of the top 100 most popular romantic novels  and a list of the top 100 most popular romantic filmsFYI: My favorite romantic novel is Our Souls at Night and favorite romantic movie is Sleepless in Seattle.


  • 7Cups.com matches people who want to talk about a personal issue with people who want to listen.
  • Want a pen pal? HERE is a link to 27 pen pal sites.
  • Call or visit home-bound people. If you don’t know such people, you might offer your services through patient support groups or even hospice.
  • Have a dog or cat. Thousands of sweeties await you at petfinder.org.

The takeaway: Are one or more of these worth doing if only in the interim?

I read this on YouTube.

Here are a few of my other articles on living solo: