4 Surprisingly Easy Ways to Make Yourself Happier
3. Prioritize face-to-face contact.
Posted Dec 30, 2016
If the wealth of research on happiness has revealed anything, it’s this: Becoming a happier person may be far easier than you might have thought. If “get happier” is one of your current goals, you'll be glad to hear that you don’t need to hit the lottery, find your soul mate, or retire in order to achieve it. Instead, try incorporating some of these surprisingly simple, research-based changes into your everyday life.
1. Find a new activity.
One of the challenges to lasting happiness lies in the fact that we adapt to the pleasant but ordinary stuff of everyday life. Combat this by trying something new. Start small: Try a new class at the gym. Take a pottery class. Cook something exotic. Or go bigger: Learn a new language. Register for a triathlon. Audition for community theater. You might uncover a latent talent or passion, make new friends, or feel more connected to your community. Don't forget the oft-cited finding that experiences, not things, are related to happiness. Take advantage of all of the rich experiences that lie just outside of your comfort zone.
There is ample evidence to suggest that doing prosocial behaviors—actions that are done to benefit others—brings surprising benefits to the person performing the kind acts. From random acts of kindness to spending a small amount of money on others, there is a clear mood boost that comes from doing a kindness. As positive psychology research pioneer Marty Seligman once remarked, “Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.” So find a cause you care about and get involved. Or simply offer to drive a friend to the airport or the doctor's office. Prosocial behavior is a win-win.
3. Prioritize face-to-face contact.
Social connection and a sense of belonging are fundamental human needs. But if you're like most people, much of your socializing may take the form of texts, emails, Snapchats, and Facebook likes. However, nothing can replace the familiar voice of a loved one, a shared laugh, or a deep conversation over dinner. Virtual communication deprives us of these conversational riches, and perhaps as a result, is related to a decrease in daily mood. Face-to-face contact, however, enhances physical health, perceived social support, and happiness in surprisingly potent ways. So consider making more time to connect with your favorite people in person. It might be the best small change you make.
4. Express gratitude.
In one groundbreaking study, the simple act of counting your blessings—that is, writing down three things that you're grateful for—showed surprising benefits for participants' mental and physical health. Why? One reason is that it takes the blinders off, encouraging us to examine and appreciate small things that might otherwise go unnoticed. And it can enhance our relationships, too: Recent findings suggest that expressing gratitude in relationship contexts can enhance intimate bonds, so don't be afraid to offer a genuine "thank you" to your partner.
One caveat: These activities might sound simple right now. The tough part is enacting them and committing to performing them regularly. In the same way that you can’t eat a kale salad once and declare yourself a healthy person, you can’t write in a gratitude journal or volunteer just once and expect to be lastingly happier. Give some thought to how you will successfully incorporate your chosen activity into your life in a way that will stick.
Given their simplicity and effectiveness—and the fact that they cost nothing—committing to a research-supported happiness strategy might be the best resolution you can make this year. (And the list doesn't end with these four strategies; also consider meditation, physical exercise, savoring small pleasures, and finding flow.) As with any goal, the key is finding something that fits your schedule, lifestyle, and personality, and then sticking to it.