Who do you say is Creator of Time? Would not that be logical to conclude that He has a purpose for it and for our life too?
You are not alone who is looking for that...
http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/meaning-of-life/
Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. A new theory aims to make sense of it all.
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Of all the things there are to be anxious about—of all the things I've ever been anxious about—time, in one way or another, has probably been the most pervasive. To start with, I hate being late. Whether to a party (who comes on time to a party?), a movie, or even something I've planned to do by myself, to arrive at the appointed time without arriving at the appointed place isn't just distasteful to me—it's anxiety-producing. Even when being late brings about no adverse consequences whatsoever.
Why is this? Until recently, I'd never bothered to ask. But then my wife pointed out to me one day how agitated I'd become when it became clear we'd be late taking our son to a play date with one of his friends, and I realized not only how anxious being late made me, but also how out of proportion that anxiety had become.
It made me think of how I used to feel during Winter and Spring breaks during college. I'd always looked forward to them eagerly but then found myself feeling a mild degree of dread as I lived through them. The source of this feeling? I'd always wanted to be a writer but had no time to write while in school, so I'd always plan to write while on vacation. But I never did, either because other activities got in the way or because I wasn't ever able to figure out what exactly I wanted to write. Which, sadly, often made my vacations feel to me like wasted time.
More recently, I've noticed myself sometimes feeling mildly anxious as activities wind down because of some mild apprehension that I won't be able to get the next activity started on time. Which, of course, interferes with my ability to enjoy the end of my activities.
A few moments of reflection after my wife pointed out how extreme my time anxiety had become quickly made clear to me that it stemmed not just from my fear of death (that is, of running out of time), but also from my fear of wasting my life. My anxiety about time, it turns out, is really anxiety about meaning. That is, I worry constantly that I'm spending my time on things that are meaningless. Or, perhaps I should say, not meaningful enough.
It would be fair to say I'm obsessed with meaning. It's not that I believe some outside force exists that has assigned a purpose to my life that I've yet to discover. It's that I recognize my well-being is largely determined by the importance of the value I feel I'm creating with my life. I want—I need—what I do with my life to matter. To whom? To anyone. In fact, to as many anyones as possible.
This is what my time anxiety is really about. At some level, being late always triggers this question: am I creating the greatest amount of value with my life that I can? Will I feel, when it comes my time to die, that I spent too much of my time frivolously? Certainly I can't be concerned with creating value for others all the time. But if at the end of my life I don't feel that I spent the better part of it making some kind of contribution, I worry my life will feel like a wasted opportunity. So much suffering exists in the world. To me nothing seems a more important goal—more weighty a goal—than trying to reduce it.
That particular goal may not be what seems most important to you. And that's fine. But if you also suffer from time anxiety, I'd encourage you to stop and ask yourself if you aren't really more anxious about what your life means. About what you're doing with it. And if it turns out you're worried that what you're doing isn't meaningful enough, then figure out what is meaningful enough and start doing that.
If the contribution you've decided to spend your life making in fact feels like the most meaningful contribution you could make, and like me you're anxious because you're not always spending your time doing it, remind yourself, as I did, that you don't need to focus every minute of your life on value creation for value creation to have been what your life was all about.
Who do you say is Creator of Time? Would not that be logical to conclude that He has a purpose for it and for our life too?
You are not alone who is looking for that...
http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/meaning-of-life/
Thank you so much for this post. It has really helped me to understand very clearly what my issue about time is. I am very grateful for all of your posts but this one really hit the spot from me!
You are so welcome.
I often have anxiety provoking thoughts, because I feel like I am ‘wasting precious time’. I want to reach the end of my life, and feel like that I have made a really positive contribution to the world, and haven’t wasted a minute. The anxiety has become worse since my mother passed away recently at the age of 55. However, I have learnt to control these emotions, and ‘allow’ myself downtime, by switching off. Otherwise, you find that you exhaust yourself and those around you, and I can't help anyone then. I loved your article, it was a breath of fresh air, and wonderful to find someone who thinks in the similar way.
Personally I had/ have the same issue... However I decided to go head on with the issue of "punctuality" when I felt it went to ridiculous proportions. I decided to be late. In fact I was late to everything for 4 days in a row. At first it felt really uncomfortable, anxious in a way. But then- hey the world didn't stop and I got to enjoy the daily activities instead of "flying by" them.
I've read a lot of interesting "self help" books, however when I read your post one book really crossed my mind: Bach Flower Therapy: Theory and Practice by Mechthild Scheffer. If you do get the book, look up "Impatience". It changes the usual definition of this term.
However if you then were to become interested in trying those remedies out on yourself, please don't rush and better find a good specialist. When I first tried it, well let's say my reaction was pretty strong, and after I went to a specialist it started making more sense and more progress.
In any case best of luck!
A
I am currently studying Psych (Post grad), and like to read a wide range of books on different psychology topics. Bach Flower Therapy: Theory and Practice by Mechthild Scheffer sounds like a good one. (I play the cello- so the title appeals to me). Thanks for the book recommendation!
I realized that I can't be late to anything or else my chest gets tight and I freak out. The later I was the harder it was for me to feel comfortable. Once I was two hours late, because of traffic for a party and I even started crying. I knew I was blowing it completely out of proportion, but I couldn't help it. If it got too late I wouldn't want to go at all, but I knew that I wouldn't have closure unless I went. I never figured out why, but I have always reasoned that it was because I was afraid of letting people down or being unreliable. I then realized that I don't care what people think of me.
I don't even know how I ended up here, but I thought
this post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you are
going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!
In addition to what is said here I find the wasting of someone elses time to be offensive. Time is a finite and essential resource, to be late is to rob someone else of this resourse. I feel mortified when i know someone is waiting for me.
Because of my job and daily schedule I've noticed my obsession with focusing on time and or timing things. I just thought it was just something I picked up as a habit but reading your post has cause me to delve deeper into the reasons behind my deep concentration on time and I think it has a lot to do with what you stated. I will now try to remind myself that it is okay that not every single minute should have meaning.
It's amazing how identified I was when I read this article. Mostly this part: "I worry my life will feel like a wasted opportunity. So much suffering exists in the world", or feeling anxiety when I'm late to something (like a party too!!). I think all of that mini anxiety attacks have a deeper meaning. I've had some anxiety caused by the fact that I think I will not have enough time to read all the books I wanna read, or to travel to all the places I want to, or to help all the people I want to help. Just last year I found out everything is step by step. I make a list of things I wanna do in order to feel valuable for the world. I started with book goals (30 a year, I achieved 23 for 2017, but it was ok!), then I became a founding member or Rotaract club in my city (to use my energy to help others), and so on... writing my thesis (avoid procrastination). I think I have good time management but even so I feel it's not enough. I think I'll find answers in books .
I've been thinking on this topic a lot lately and only just decided to Google it and see what other people have said.
I have felt everything you refer to in this article and I've been coming to terms with the fact that I did need to heal my relationship with time. The way I see it: time is a resource that we exchange for different things. It could be money, comfort, rest, health, relationships etc. All of these things need time spent on them. I have been considering the fact that maybe I undervalue some of the things that I spend my time on. For example, I feel an incessant need to be constantly building; every day must add a brick onto the building that I want my life to be. So if I exchange my time for a night in with my partner watching a film, I end up feeling guilty that I spent my time on something that isn't going to progress me further with my goals.
But I am aware how valuable time spent with family is. I just don't value it enough and I think that is the root of my problem. If we think of time as currency, I am happy to spend it on maintaining my fitness or working on projects but, as soon as I have to spend it on something that I don't value enough or don't feel like I'm getting my "money's worth" with, then I feel either robbed or guilty that I feel that way in the first place.
I really liked when you wrote about attitudes towards meaningful contribution. That is definitely what I strive for but overlook a lot of the smaller ways one can contribute to the world.
Thank you for this article.
I've been thinking on this topic a lot lately and only just decided to Google it and see what other people have said.
I have felt everything you refer to in this article and I've been coming to terms with the fact that I did need to heal my relationship with time. The way I see it: time is a resource that we exchange for different things. It could be money, comfort, rest, health, relationships etc. All of these things need time spent on them. I have been considering the fact that maybe I undervalue some of the things that I spend my time on. For example, I feel an incessant need to be constantly building; every day must add a brick onto the building that I want my life to be. So if I exchange my time for a night in with my partner watching a film, I end up feeling guilty that I spent my time on something that isn't going to progress me further with my goals.
But I am aware how valuable time spent with family is. I just don't value it enough and I think that is the root of my problem. If we think of time as currency, I am happy to spend it on maintaining my fitness or working on projects but, as soon as I have to spend it on something that I don't value enough or don't feel like I'm getting my "money's worth" with, then I feel either robbed or guilty that I feel that way in the first place.
I really liked when you wrote about attitudes towards meaningful contribution. That is definitely what I strive for but overlook a lot of the smaller ways one can contribute to the world.
Thank you for this article.
Yes, I have found myself in this article. It has given me pause. I now have something to consider beyond the thought, "I am running out of time with my life."
That thought overwhelms me and I give up even trying to start or finish the things I feel matter to me. Time management is not my forte. Perhaps it is not the problem as you have stated.
I am going to enjoy what I do, right or wrong, productive or wasteful.
Thank you for your contribution to my life's meaning.
You have described 101% what I feel... Sure, I'm five years late to this article but I can't help but express my gratitude to you, Dr. Lickerman. It pains me so much, but now I feel like I can breathe easier after reading this.
I have the time issue, and it started with my parents with everything to the clock. meals at a certain time, if we stopped for gas mum and i just had so much time to look around shop and i progressed from there. Dad always said if your on time you are late (i guess a military thing) and i knew journeys by time. In a way i say like Neo from matrix seeing code i see clocks with different times. if i get woken from my sleep but still have two hours to go to alarm i start to get stressed same with going to bed i know how many hours of sleep i shall get, how long the drive is to work and it all goes tick tick tick in my head. And if anything throws this off i start to get the anxiety symptom from heart palpitation, arms go weird the back of my head will fell tight . And top it all i hate time wasting and i think its because i want more time with my family.
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