Have You Got Happiness Habits?

15 helpful hints for health and happiness

Posted Mar 18, 2016

The following were gleaned from years of therapeutic practice.  Obviously if you followed them all you'd be perfect and you're not.  You're a human, like the rest of us and we all make mistakes.  But if you follow just a few you will improve your life and that of those around you.

1.  Ease up on yourself and others. Remind yourself we’re all sharing the planet and everyone has difficulties. There is no them and us – just us.

2.  Be generous with time, energy and compassion - it will never be wasted.

3.  Take your time.  You don’t have to give an immediate answer to an invitation or a request for help.  “I’ll get back to you.  When do you need to know by?” or “I need to think about that” are perfectly reasonable responses.

4.  Resolve situations as they arise.  Don’t let issues linger; deal with the problem and then move on.  If it didn’t turn out how you wanted it to you’ve learnt something for next time.

5.  Retrain your inner voice to be kinder.  Erase “You idiot, look what you did” and replace it with “How can you make sure you don’t do that again – what did I learn?”  Employ this technique with your children.

6.  Tell people how you feel if situations bother you.  Use the formula - When you (do whatever) I feel (whatever you feel),    For instance “When you shout at me, I feel hurt and angry.”  Ask them to think of something different they could do.

7.  Let people know how you expect to be treated.  Firstly, by treating others as you wish to be treated and, secondly, by letting others know when you find their behaviour/language or timing inappropriate.  Offer a preferred style i.e. “It doesn’t work for me when you approach me about work difficulties in the canteen…could we schedule a meeting instead?”

8.  You don’t need to be right.  Hammering home your own agenda or beliefs is tiresome and alienates people.  Insisting you’re right and that everyone agrees with you is a definite no-no.  Recognise that others are entitled to believe whatever they want even if you don’t agree - you are not the opinion police!

9.  The past is the past.  Don’t hang on to old past hurts, either address them or drop them.  Old hurts are highly corrosive, usually only to the people who are hanging on to them.  A good, enjoyable life is the best antidote.

10.  Choose your battles.  Some things don’t matter.  Learn to recognise important issues as oppose to small stuff.  Ask yourself will this matter in a week, a month or a year.  You don’t need to pick on everything and often people don’t need to know what you think, either.  Learn to let the little things go.  You will be astonished by how much energy you free up.

11.  Pay attention to your health.  Eat well and schedule regular exercise and relaxation.  If you have a problem, get it checked out by your doctor.  Attend all your regular health checks.

12.  Do things you have agreed to wholeheartedly, cheerfully and with good grace otherwise just say “No”.

13.  Count your blessings.  Enjoy small, free everyday pleasures:  The sunshine, rainbows, a good movie, a chat to a friend, your new sweater, a hot shower, a comedy on TV, a hug from a friend or your child.  

14.  Smile at others - not an inane grin - just a friendly smile.  It helps the world go round.  Accept compliments graciously.  Give others compliments if you are thinking nice things about them.

15. Say Please and thank you.  Apologise if you get something wrong or you upset someone.

And remember – the only two outcomes did things go well or did you learn something?