Growing Friendships

All about children's social and emotional development.

Eileen Kennedy-Moore Ph.D.

How to Resist Competitive Parenting

At its worst, competitive parenting says to kids, “You need to achieve in order to prove that I’m a good parent.” Here's how to resist getting pulled into that game.

What’s Wrong With Sticker Charts and Reward Systems?

At first glance, using a sticker chart or other reward system seems like a harmless way to gain children's cooperation. But there are some potential downsides to this strategy.

What's My Child Thinking?

Children are not just short adults. They think about things in qualitatively different ways than adults do. These differences can be delightful, baffling, or exasperating.

Children’s Friendship Groups

Friendship groups add an extra dimension of fun—and complication—to children’s social worlds.

What We Get Wrong About Children’s Self-Esteem

Real self-esteem isn't about loving ourselves; it's about being able to let go of the question, "Am I good enough?" by connecting with something bigger than ourselves.

Helping Perfectionist Kids Learn to Tolerate Mistakes

Kids often hear, “Mistakes are part of learning.” But if they have perfectionist tendencies, they don’t believe it. Here’s a way to help kids be more accepting of their mistakes.

Can Parental Touch Help Socially Anxious Children?

Touch is our most basic way of connecting and comforting. A recent study suggests that parental touch can also serve as a safety signal for children.

Teach Your Child to Ask For Help—The Right Way

Asking for help is a surprisingly complicated skill—especially for kids. Here's how children who have a hard time asking for help can do so effectively.

Want Your Child to Listen and Learn? Don’t Lecture

When children do things they know they shouldn't, it’s tempting to lecture them. But lectures make kids feel defensive or resentful. Here's what to do instead.

Children’s Anger Management Strategies That Work

“Punch pillows!” is a common piece of advice children hear regarding how to manage anger, but there’s no evidence that this helpful.

Why Kids Tattle and What to Do About It

Tattling is one of the most annoying things children do. It’s also extremely common and even an important step in child development.

What to Say to Empathize Better With Your Child

Reflection is a way of expressing empathy that involves describing the feelings you see. Here, some straightforward phrases to try with your child.

What Are Reasonable Expectations for Children?

When parents have expectations that don’t fit a particular child at a particular time, it sets that child up for feeling like a failure.

Childhood Enemies

Just as children experience a continuum of linking from “casual friends” to “best friends,” they also experience a continuum of disliking from “nonfriends” to "worst enemies."

Why Are Kids So Mean?

Kids who know better and are usually kind to their friends can sometimes act in casually cruel ways when they decide that certain people’s feelings don’t "count."

When and How to Say No to Kids

Here are seven situations when you may need to say no to your kids and some suggestions for how to do it.

3 Common Friendship Mistakes for Kids

Every child faces friendship challenges at some time, in some way, but broadly speaking, there are three main ways that children struggle socially.

3 Ways Kids Can Solve Friendship Conflicts

Conflicts are common in children’s friendships, but they don’t have to mean the end of a relationship. Here are three ways kids can move past disagreements.

How To Be Your Child’s Friendship Coach

Recent research suggests that parents can play an important role in helping children learn social skills. Here are some ways to be an effective friendship coach for your child.

Help Your Child Learn to Forgive

Holding onto resentment is emotionally costly. Here are some forgiveness guidelines to help your child figure out when to let go.

Can You Be Too Supportive of Your Child's Negative Feelings?

A new study suggests that supportive responses to our kids' negative feelings may not always be helpful.

A Simple Strategy to Help Worried Kids

The more parents say, “It’s fine. Don’t worry!” the more anxious kids demand, “But what if…?” Here's a way to help children use their imagination to manage worries.

How to Talk With Kids About the Ariana Grande Concert Attack

Parents of young Ariana Grande fans are facing the sickening question of how to talk to their kids about the explosion at her recent concert in Manchester. Here are 5 tips.

When Your Child Says, “Nobody Likes Me!”

Practical ways to help when your child is feeling friendless.

Pets Versus Siblings as Sources of Support for Children

New study suggests that kids may get along better with their pets than their siblings. Just like siblings, pets are a source of comfort and companionship...and they never blab.

Friends in Violent Places

Research says children in violent neighborhoods approach friendship cautiously, with the goal of staying safe. Here are their resourceful–and heart-breaking–strategies.

Pressure to Succeed in Middle School

A new study shows that middle schoolers who think their parents value achievement over kindness are worse off psychologically and academically. How do we encourage healthy values?

Conversation Skills for Kids

Understanding and practicing some simple formulas can help your child manage common conversations and feel comfortable talking with others.

The Case Against Zero Tolerance in Schools

A recent study shows that a brief intervention encouraging teachers to respond with empathy to misbehaving students was able to reduce middle school suspension rates by half.

The Roots of Social Justice—Kids’ Responses to Inequality

At what age can kids consider fairness to others?

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