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Grief

The Surprising Tool Grievers Might Want to Try

Creativity is a distraction and so much more.

Key points

  • The health benefits of creativity include decreased anxiety and boosted immune system.
  • Creativity helps us engage and distract at the same time.
  • Creative projects can honor our person and the complexity of our feelings.

There are times in grief when we want to stay in bed all day, and other times when we can’t sleep at all. We might find ourselves exercising more than ever before or binge-watching Netflix for three days straight.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and what feels good to us one day might seem dreadful the next. But there’s one thing that’s worth a try for a host of reasons that might not be obvious—doing something creative.

Engaging in creativity can be a salve when we’re grieving the loss of someone close to us. Here’s why:

Creativity Has Enormous Health Benefits.

Creativity is a beautiful elixir, proven to reduce stress, decrease anxiety, increase motivation, and even help our immune system—all of which might be things we need help with when we’re grieving. Spending even short bursts of time doing something creative can make you feel engaged and distracted at the same time, which is a surprisingly useful combination when we’re mourning.

It's OK to Take a Break From Sorrow.

When we’re in the flow state (that feeling of being fully absorbed in our creativity), we aren’t thinking about other things. We can temporarily distract ourselves from our sadness. (It will be waiting for us when we return.)

Most of us have experienced the joy of “getting lost” in something creative, whether that’s painting or writing or gardening or even scribbling in a coloring book. Remember when you were a kid losing track of time and spending hours making up games with your friends? As we get older, most of us put less emphasis on time spent doing creative things when there’s no expectation of reward. And that’s a shame because the value of creativity doesn’t diminish with age.

Creativity Lets Us Bring Something New to Life.

There’s a huge sense of pride in making something that didn’t exist before. A great meal, a beautiful photo album, a knit scarf. When we’re feeling empty or a pervasive sense of loss, making something new can feel like a significant accomplishment.

The Thing We’re Creating Can Be a Way to Honor Your Person.

You can write a book of memories, create a video, plant a flower garden, build a bench, make a collage—the options are endless. You might even find that doing the project with someone else offers a way to share memories and feel less alone in your sorrow.

It can also be a way to express your feelings. Bang on drums, splatter paint, smash glass to use for a mosaic—channeling your feelings into art gets them out of your body and into something productive.

Your Project Can Give You a Sense of Purpose.

For many of us, caring for a loved one is the driving force of our days. When our person dies, we have a sense of purposelessness swirled together with our unique combination of sadness, regret, guilt, or even relief. Working on a creative project gives you something to focus on. My husband became a woodworker when our daughter died. I wrote a book. While these may be extreme examples, they provided us with a rhythm to our days that we desperately needed.

You Might Feel Less Judgmental of Yourself When You’re Grieving, Which Is a Perfect Time to Try Something New.

Hopefully you’re giving yourself grace in the grieving process to feel what you feel when you feel it. You might have fewer expectations for yourself as you begin to integrate your loss into your life. What better time is there to immerse yourself in a creative project that is simply for yourself? No judgment, no deadlines, no right or wrong way of doing it.

The good news is we all have the capacity to be creative. It doesn’t need to cost anything, and we can do it from the comfort of our own home. It might turn out to be a temporary outlet or a pathway to a new passion. Either way, you’ll reap benefits that can bring you health, peace, or maybe even a flicker of joy. At the very least, it’s worth a try.

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